Steve Sanchez has generously contributed this excerpt from his book "Spiritual Perversion" (available by digital download from Amazon and in book form).
It's a powerful and chilling account of the rage and manipulation that Bill Duby exhibited at the Spiritual Rights Foundation and the Academy for Psychic Studies.
I can't put into words how this segment of the book made me feel. I was at SRF when this all happened. But since beginning students like me were not allowed to know the inner workings of the cult and we were certainly not allowed to see how the ministers were treated, I never actually saw this particular incident.
That didn't mean I never heard of this event. It was legend in SRF history - this time when Bill Duby himself "told off" the hothead Mason.
This event was the first time Mason turned the tables on Bill but it would not be the last. Mason spearheaded a tell-all, front page piece in the San Francisco Chronicle, revealing the depravity and perversion at the Spiritual Rights Foundation and Academy for Psychic Studies. At last, the truth came out.
It was a seminal, watershed event, opening the doors to further revelations about cult life at the Spiritual Rights Foundation and ultimately, to this blog.
As painful as the situation Steve Sanchez writes of turned out to be, it was indeed an inspiration to myself and so many others to turn their backs on the abuse, exploitation and depravity that was a near every-day event.
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Spiritual Perversion
Chapter 23: Judas
During sessions when Mason wasn’t present, and sometimes when he was, Bill talked a lot about how Amy loved him; how he was able to give her the higher, or Godly, consciousness that all women need.
He talked to us all in the center room confidentially. “That is Masons problem. All women want two lovers. That‘s why women are always running to the doctor, gynecologist, psychologist, Indian chief, or guru. Mason’s problem is that I am giving her the Christ consciousness, and a woman is going to respond to that every time. If Mason can’t give her the light, he will lose her. She loves me for giving her the light of truth.
If Christ were to walk in here right now all the women would instantly be in love with Him, and all the men would be in competition. That’s the way it is, folks. I didn’t write the book. If it weren’t for me Mason’s abusive ways might work on Amy, but I am here to give her the truth that grounds her. I know what she needs. Her own inner consciousness wont let her stray from the truth. She wants to keep her soul.
It’s an awesome responsibility I have. I could fuck any woman in here. That is their job—to try and get you to fuck them— but as soon as you do they lose respect for you; you become a “mere male.” They wont listen to you. It’s not fair, but that’s the way it is. The woman has to feel innocent. If Mason were smart, he would take the blame for everything, but he’s not.”
Part of me hated it when I heard this. It didn’t seem right that everything was the man’s fault, but everyone took what he said as sacred truth and we tried to work with it.
Mason’s term on the hot seat went on for months. Almost every Sunday night was an all-nighter. At times unexpected twists were added to the mix, which Rev. Will extrapolated out to their worst severity. Such a twist took place when Rev. Will suddenly turned all the blame on Amy. Usually men were the culprits of all the problems, but it wasn’t uncommon for the woman to suddenly take the heat.
This turn of events was precipitated in Revelation Class one night when, under Rev. Will’s questioning Rev. Amy admitted that she had been “trading pussy for money.” Rev. Will said she was being a prostitute and not a wife. The whole tide of fault now fell on Amy. He compared Mason to me as a man who was lost and yearning for a woman who had no intention of treating him right. All Mason wanted, like any man, was the pussy, and all Amy wanted was the money. It was all her fault now because she had misled him and she was the one who had “conjugal love.” As a female, she was the one who was a superior being. She had a made a monster of Mason by giving him too much pussy and hiding her motivations. Amy was devastated with guilt. She admitted it was all her fault. This went on for few days.
A couple of days later the word was that Mason was completely wrong in letting Amy take all the blame. Rev. Will said, “Mason if you had a spiritual bone in your body you wouldn’t have let Amy take the blame. That is the same mistake Harpreet made. Can’t you people learn from other people’s experiences? Now you have ruined any chance of her coming around. By trying to be innocent you are being a woman, not a man. Her femininity is scarred beyond repair. She is pissed as hell at you. You have ruined her sex life by not being an upright man. A real husband would not let the woman take any of the blame because he knows that is the only way he can get her back. She has to be able to feel innocent. This is why Amy is blowing up, putting on weight. Her heart is hardened toward you. As long as you could take the blame, Mays, I had something to work with to put your marriage back together. Now you are fucked. Before you can have a marriage you have to get the divorce out of the way. I suggest you get a divorce, and then start dating again.”
Mason desperately tried to reason with Rev. Will and justify his own actions and point out Rev. Will’s hypocrisies, but we all sided with Rev. Will. We all agreed with Rev. Will that Mason had betrayed the teaching and his wife. Rev. Will began to speak of Mason as a “Judas,” and we all sensed the unthinkable—that he might leave SLF. We all started to completely emotionally disengage from Mason, and at the same time we were strangely thrilled and delighted that it was him and not us.
Rev. Will claimed, “Now Mason’s own gender is turning against him. When that happens, it’s over.” So later, at the 10-unit Alcatraz Street apartments, which SLF owned and which only SLF members lived in, I tried to do my duty to get through to him. In the middle of the beat-up concrete courtyard, I approached him and said, “Mays, I’d like to try and help if I can. I’m afraid you are closing down to getting a healing. It all comes down to an attitude.”
“I know what you are saying, Steve,” he replied, “but I am seeing things differently This same shit just keeps happening over and over, no matter what I do. It’s insane. I don’t think Rev. Will really cares about me, or you. He advised me to get a divorce and give up my daughter to Amy. That makes no sense. It’s insane advice. He is not what you think he is, Steve.”
This shook me up, but I felt I knew better than he. I didn’t believe him, and I was astonished at how firm he was in his stance. Did I dare think about what he said? It made some sense, but no. I thought he was lost.
The end finally came. We all knew it must be coming, but it was still unthinkable to us that it was actually happening. At about 2:30 in the morning in a Sunday night Revelation Class, Mason and Bill were locked in argument. Of course Bill was doing most of the talking. Of late Mason had started retorting more and more. He made arguments to show how he had been wrongly painted to be a monster. No one had ever dared to do this before. He started presenting factual inconsistencies in Rev. Will’s positions and counseling.
Mason blurted out as he swung his hands in the air, “You are influencing Amy to turn against me. Your advice is to get a divorce, and then start dating again? That is absurd; it makes no sense to a reasonable person. Currently there are five divorces or relationship breakups going on in here. I don’t think there has ever been a successful relationship in here. Ya know, everything is black and white to you. You always say “always,” but what was “always” one day is the opposite the next.”
This really seemed to set Bill off. He interrupted, “Ha haaa! You just can’t handle the truth, Mays. The highest levels of truth are black and white. I am teaching from the “I am” consciousness. The others can see it. Why can’t you? You are always complaining about how I am influencing you.
Everybody influences everybody. The world is influencing you people right out of your own bodies. Your mommy, your daddy, teacher, Indian chief, and guru are all influencing you, but you want to complain about me because I have the guts and tenacity to stand up to your personality programming. I am influencing you all for your own good. You guys are in the hypnotic trance of the world, and I am trying to wake you up to the truth! Mine is a thankless job! You complain, complain, complain —stuck in your poor-little-me world, thinking your intellectual logic is going to get you somewhere.
“That is too slow for me. I know the answer before you even think it, because I am in the “I am” consciousness. You better think about this if you want to save your soul: What does the man with no shoes say to the man with no feet? Huh? You are always wanting me to clean blocks out of your space. What if the block in your space is blocking you from hell? Huh? You haven’t looked at it that way. I am not above sticking you on a picture if it will save you from hell. I am working for your benefit, and you are fighting and scratching for your sick addictions to the world, which are taking you straight down. This is what I get—hell from you for doing a good deed! Go ahead, go out there.
I will be a lot better off without all you maggot-breath motherfuckers! As soon as you get your carcass out of here with your funky energy, I will attract in ten more students who can really have the teaching. You are holding me back! You are blocking others from having this teaching. If the shoe fits wear it.
“You guys don’t understand the power of being a spirit in your body. With the holy presence of Christ in your aura you could kill somebody and be blessed for it because it was God’s purpose. For those who understand, no words are necessary, and for those who do not, no words are possible.”
Mason got up and went to the bathroom. Rev. Will laughed confidentially and told Chuck for all of us to hear, “His mind is gone. He is possessed; see how he looks vacant. The hothead beings in his space are going to go over the edge when I talk to him now. He can’t handle it anymore. He is going to try to hit me. Watch. Then I’ll have his ass legally. Ha haaa! Be ready.”
When Mason came back, Rev. Will said, “Now Mason, listen to me. A word to the wise is sufficient while a whole book is wasted on a fool. I have the divorce papers here from Amy. You know, don’t you, that she is looking for full custody of Lindsey. If you have any brains left, which I am not sure that you do, you will give her what she is asking. She is going to get it anyway. You know that don’t you?
Rev. Will’s flat, intense face stared right into Mason’s, his eyes watery and blazing. You could almost feel the pock-marked texture of his skin as he held his gaze on Mason with other-worldly confidence. Mason remained still and stared back. He was red with anger but didn’t move his body much. His composure was surprising to us, but everyone watched Rev. Will, who said, “That woman will make you pay for it. I know her. She has learned her lesson. She loves ME now. If you keep this up, you are going to lose your daughter, and I will have them both.”
Mason said in a firm tone laced with anger, “I’ve done my homework. Even if I wanted to do it, the court’s job is to see that both parents have a relationship with the child.” No one really listened to or believed what he said.
“I operate from the spiritual plane, Mays. This is the toughest moment of your life. Your test from God is to be able to let go. The spiritual thing to do is to let go of your daughter in a faith action to God. If you can’t do this, your egotism will destroy you; you will turn black inside. Right, Maggie? Right folks?”
Mason and Rev. Will were practically face to face. We expected Mason to react, but he remained still. As I watched him his eyes were raised slightly as all his awareness seemed to be engaged in pursuing a deep inward reflection. He seemed to be having some epiphany. What, I didn’t know. He remained rigidly guarded on the outside.
“No, that is not how it works,” Mason said. Then he turned to me and said, “Steve, would you ever do such a thing. Would you let your child go and give up custody?”
I didn’t expect this, and it put me in a strange position. At first fear and nervousness gripped me, but then I realized I boldly wanted to say that I wouldn’t… I agreed with Mason?
As I started to speak, Rev. Will quickly interrupted, addressing Mason, “Mays, I think there is something wrong with your brain stem. You say you don’t have diabetes, but you have all the symptoms, and you are showing them now.
As he spoke, I said, “I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t let her go.” No one paid any attention because Rev. Will was forcefully pulling the current in another direction. But I heard myself.
Bill grew furious. He was yelling right in Mason’s face, radiating a threatening, barely controlled fury. “You want to hit me, don’t you, Mays? This is what men do—draw blood. Women bleed out of their pussy, men draw blood.”
Bill’s spit hit Mason in the face. Chuck stood up from his seat. “You want to take a swing, don’t you? It is only the first punch that hurts; then it’s all adrenaline. Are you too much of a coward? I thought you had more balls than that, Mr. hothead!”
As Rev. Will taunted Mason an impatient fury leaked through his aura of inviolability. Mason grew red but didn’t respond. He said with frigid assertiveness, “I’d appreciate it if you’d stop spitting in my face. You are trying to get me to hit you, but it’s not going to happen.”
This was awkward because Bill guaranteed he would react. The embarrassing thought went through the class that this could clearly be interpreted as a mental/spiritual defeat for Bill, but the class wouldn’t go there. Bill made light of it and then dismissed it and went on. Class went on till 7:00 in the morning.
