Today we have another Guest Post from "Anonymous".
Carrying on with the satirical view of the Spiritual Rights Foundation snooze fest "Total Prosperity", Anonymous points out the kind of abuse leveled at men from the enlightened women leaders of the Spiritual Rights Foundation.
Even more enlightening, Anonymous well illustrates how brown-nosing is simultaneously encouraged and exploited by the Dear Leaders of the Spiritual Rights Foundation.
The verbal abuse is intense. The current leaders perpetuate and extend the craft taught to them by that master trailer park gossip and self-confessed maniac Bill Duby. What is described here is a fairly typical verbal exchange between any male who is even slightly, briefly out of favor or the random daily target for the venom of the leaders.
The derision is constant and excruciating. The leaders come after you for dollars, pennies, nickels, and your time, the devotion of every free moment you may have. And most of all, they demand blind devotion to their warped, perverse instructions and blind indulgence of every tantrum, outburst and act of exploitation they conduct - even those acts that threaten to destroy all the things you hold near and dear to you. Your family and future for starters.
The point is clear: join SRF and you lose. You lose your savings, you lose your self-respect, you lose any chance of making a life for yourself.
You do gain the skill of taking a kick in the balls (or other tender part of your anatomy) every time you open your mouth and begging and groveling for scraps and the validation of being told you aren't as valuable as a stinking pile on the street.
But hey, please listen to Total Prosperity on KEST radio at 10AM Tuesday. Call in and ask for a reading. Ignore the rest. Just make them believe people are listening - but don't let them know you are laughing.
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Announcer: Please listen with the intent to hear the true message as we introduce you to out twisted logic and pick your pockets remembering that we are forgiven by our heavenly father who would protect you from us if he really loved you.
Reverend Prick: Hello. I am Reverend Prick and welcome to Total Hilarity. I mean, total prosperity, I am truly blessed to be joined by my masters Reverend Angela and Reverend Debi. Reverend Robin is holed up in the back room counting dollar bills, as this is a little too advanced a discussion for her.
Reverend Prick: I have a question for you: how high is your bank balance and how can I become a director so that I can get my mitts on the loot?
Reverend Angela: First, you can eat the peanuts out of my shit. Second, you can shut the fuck up and talk about Healing Clinic
Reverend Prick: Yes master. Our Free Open House Healing Clinic is where you can come in for a free energy healing, which we call “the gateway to hell”. Come in if you can have it. Actually come in so we can take your money from you…
Reverend Debi: Uh Prick, we have a call
Reverend Prick: I see you need to come into healing clinic with your checkbook
Reverend Angela: Shut the fuck up Prick! Caller what is your question?
Caller: I need a job
Reverend Debi: the color is green
Reverend Prick: you could get a job
Reverend Angela: So could you, Prick. Caller, you need to clean your energy
Reverend Debi: yes come to healing clinic and start your indoctrination
Reverend Prick: bring your checkbook
Reverend Debi: Good call! Reverend Prick, talk a little about hypnotherapy
Reverend Prick: Yes master. I run the male program - did you know that we men are a stabilizing influence on you women?
Reverend Debi: I know that you are never gonna get your mitts on my share of the loot, you fucking leech.
Reverend Prick: I love to trance. I run the male program. We show men how to maintain their space and work with women on an equal basis and show them what it means to be a spiritual, connected man who can have this teaching. When you are part of this power-packed program, you will see how your life will change – like mine, and you will get more respect from women and you will see how we men can have all the things the Supreme Being pours from the windows of heaven.
Reverend Debi: Yeah, like a kick in the balls… Shut the fuck up Prick, I asked you to talk about the goddamn hypnotherapy class I teach. Thanks for not promoting my $2000.00 class, asshole. Oh and you still owe your minister’s class fee and your tithe and – oh wait! You don’t have a job, you lazy fuck! We have a call…
Reverend Angela: The color is blue and red
Reverend Debi: Uh, Angela - the caller hasn’t asked a question yet.
Angela: Oh. I guess that was another LSD flashback…
Caller: What is my boyfriend doing?
Reverend Prick: the color is blue and red, Reverend Debi what do you see?
Reverend Debi: I see you are a fucking ass kisser but I can’t see the future - only the blessed Reverend Angela. She’s from Atlantis.
Reverend Angela: you need to clean your energy
Reverend Prick: how do you clean your energy?
Reverend Angela: You can start by losing 150 pounds, Prick. Then you can get a fucking job. Caller, come in for a full reading, get a healing, sell everything you own and put the money in our offshore bank accounts…
Reverend Prick: I love you. Will you marry me?
Reverend Angela: No, but you can wipe my ass after I shit out my Mexican dinner. I am the psychic queen you are dirt
Reverend Prick: I love it when you talk dirty, I can’t wait till someone joins the male program so I can tell them I am grounding females.
Reverend Debi: You’re not getting into my pants with your two inch cock either.
Reverend Prick: Well that wraps it up if you have any sense you will get a psychic reading. Or you will go to hell!
Reverend Angela: the color is yellow. Uh… sorry, another flashback - come to our psychic fair!
