Pink Prison

One of the more chilling chapters in the book "Spiritual Perversion" is the "Pink Prison" chapter. In it, Steve Sanchez describes an experience where he was watched at all times (night, day, in personal time and time with the cult) by a female member of the cult.

While as an employee of the church's "business", named "Liberty Construction", Steve made some deals that were probably somewhat on the shady side. He was driven to that kind of behavior by the low wages, high demands on his time by the church and even higher demands on his finances by the church.

According to what I recall of the events, Steve would present a bid to a construction customer as an employee of "Liberty Construction". After that bid was presented, he offered to do the work as an individual for a lower price. The customers would pay Steve (handing a check made out to him). Apparently, he used some of the Liberty workers to conduct the construction project.

SRF found out about it. That the workers may have been on Steve's payroll, not Liberty's, and that materials may have been purchased with his funds was besides the point. SRF's leadership were "managers" of Liberty Construction and were paid salaries and given a share of company revenues even though they did absolutely no work for the company. The idea that Steve cut into their cut must have been nurturing to their inner mobster.


Goodfellas Flashback:
That's the way it is with a wiseguy partner. He gets his money no matter what. You got no business? Fuck you, pay me. You had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning and World War Three started in the lounge? Fuck you, pay me.

My addition: you took a cut to feed your family and get a decent salary to climb out of your ghetto apartment? Fuck you, you are going straight to Pink Prison.


A woman was assigned to watch him during the day as he conducted business for Liberty Construction. This woman was constantly on the phone to SRF headquarters receiving instructions on what Steve was to do and when he was to do it. No deviation from the script was allowed. Any situation that required a minor modification to the script (construction work can take more or less time than estimated) caused Steve's "prison guard" a lot of consternation that frequently resulted in shouting matches.

As he worked, his normal salary was confiscated by SRF to restore the leadership's cut of the pie. He was threatened with jail and was constantly berated as a "Judas" and was said to have a "problem with his brain stem". He was shunned and constantly subjected to humiliation in front of all the church members. People cursed him. The founders and directors of SRF went out of their way to ensure he was portrayed as a demon and that we must not associate with him.

The president conjured up "evidence" about his misdeeds through a trance state. I'm sure that is credible evidence for the District Attorney. At least credible enough to have them looking for guys in white coats. In this trance, she decided Steve would have to pay SRF $50K.

Steve was not afforded due process before his conviction and sentence.  This cult has no legal authority to administer punishment or to do anything more than complain about wrongdoing within the proper channels.  Restriction of church privileges would have been in order, but confiscation of a man's earnings by a private entity without due process of law is clearly not allowable.

So on no more than the hallucination of a Spiritual Rights Foundation trained Psychotic, Steve was convicted of a "crime" and sentenced to punishment in "Pink Prison" beign forced to relinquish everything he had and having his every move supervised, monitored, recorded and evaluated for signs of spiritual goodness or badness.

The SRF Kangaroo Kourt worked efficiently.  With a wave of Angela Silva's gnarled hand, Steve was summarily dispatched into the SRF version of hell, administered by loyal woman minions reaching for the approval of the head psychotics.

Here he was, being watched every moment of the day (I wonder how they handled him taking a crap? - did they at least have the decency to hand him a roll?) working for nothing, having his assets seized by the church (without due process) including his vehicle, bank accounts and retirement savings.

In an incredible event, a church member actually tried to forcibly take Steve's last $40 from his pockets. Sounds more like robbery by force than an attempt to collect on a debt.

His wife and daughter were being supported by SRF, effectively keeping them bound to the church. If Steve needed money to, say, eat or buy a pair of socks he would need to ask his wife (who generally turned him down). His daughter would constantly berate Steve saying he did no know what love is and for not knowing God. This kind of treatment had a great effect on Steve's mental state. Steve's daughter was under the spell of the church leadership and was actually taken aside and told all the things she later said to her father. Steve was devastated in a way words can't describe.

The pressure on him was unrelenting. Steve could not make a single move. He was reduced to making phone calls secretly to line up construction work for himself, just to make enough money to survive.

It was at that point Steve had to make the decision to leave and leave quickly.

Steve describes other situations where the leadership of SRF subjected him to severe psychological abuse, constant insults and one incident where other members of SRF surrounded him, chanted The Lord's Prayer (at the direction of SRF leadership) repeatedly to break his spirit.

One of SRF's tenants is to reject the "false morals and ethics" that we have all been taught since our childhood. Clearly, the leadership of SRF exhibited no sense of morality and disregarded any sense of humanity in their conduct. How's that for a peaceful and humanitarian organization like SRF?

Since they don't have rules there regarding their conduct and there is no moral code or ethics to guide and restrain their behavior, the leadership did pretty much as they pleased. And if you displeased them in any way, you will be subjected to humiliation in front of the entire congregation, berated and shunned from anyone whom you may seek support. Of course, any contact with outside sources for help is strictly forbidden (you have to agree to that in a written contract). The control is total and retribution for any insults to the church (which can be as simple as forgetting an appointment or making a statement not in line with SRF tenets) can be harsh.

Some years ago, a minister said to me she was "de-frocked", shunned and isolated because she was unable to meet the leader when summoned. She was made to accept "punishment" and was removed from teaching classes and other activities. She did have to keep paying for classes, though. Her minister status was restored after an appropriate period.

There is no wonder why Steve had to escape to save his life.

Now how many churches would place someone in a church-directed prison?

And what happens when someone with that much power over another is allowed to do as they please?


A Stanford University professor, Phillip Zimbardo, set up an experiment where students were isolated in a simulated prison. The student "guards" had full control over the student "prisoners". The prisoners were under the supervision of the guards at all times. Prisoners would have to ask permission to do even the most simple of things, like go to the bathroom. No contact with the outside world was allowed during the experiment. Unlike a real prison, there were almost no rules to temper the guards' behavior.

Zimbardo discovered that the guards conducted humiliating, sadistic and tortuous abuse of the prisoners. Not physically, but psychologically. Constant verbal abuse, insults and total control of their lives were practiced by all of the guards. Prisoners were made to wear hoods on their heads for long periods and were subjected to isolation, humiliation in front of other prisoners and were constantly lied to in order to mistrust and turn them against each other.

The prisoners first responded with rebellion, then passively accepted their fates. Even after the prisoners accepted the conditions, the guards continued their abusive behavior. Without the moral guidance of society and without the restraint of law and oversight, the guards dehumanized the prisoners and began to believe that they should abuse prisoners because they could. Even Zimbardo found himself going to extremes to continue the guards' inhuman behavior.

The experiment was ended about half-way through because a graduate student researcher saw it was becoming too dangerous and the abuse far too extreme.

Many participants suffered psychological issues after the experiment.

Fortunately, Steve maintained his sense of self and was able to run like hell from SRF before acceptance and severe psychological damage could be done. Unfortunately, others who suffered at SRF's hands were not so lucky. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is fairly common among ex-cult members.

Now, knowing all that, how does Pink Prison sound to you? Maybe a little like a prison in Iraq called Abu Ghraib?

But these sadists weren't wearing military uniforms. They wore the robes of ordained ministers.

I guess whether you carry a cross or a rifle, when you lose your morality, you lose your humanity.

Telling a Lie from the Truth.

We were often and regularly told our training was intended to tell the truth from a lie.

It is a great skill to have. Especially around the Spiritual Rights Foundation. Unfortunately while we were under the spell of SRF mind control, that skill shriveled up like our sex lives. So much unbelieveable crap came from the mouths of the leaders and their evil minions, the task of sorting out the truth from it all was like finding a needle in a haystack.

How many things have your heard from the Spiritual Rights Foundation leaders that turned out to be bald faced lies?

I remember one in particular. It was the Bishop and Robin's account of a television interview - the infamous KRON interview that caught Debi flat-footed.

Instead of making a spin of what happened (perhaps suggesting the unfortunate Bishop was ambushed and deceived, causing shock and apoplexy), Debi and Robin told the gathered Clairvoyant Training Program students Debi handled the situation with grace and aplomb. They went to say they completely disrupted the broadcast using energy techniques. The report aired after only a slight delay because the tape wasn't properly cued (and that happens a lot on every news broadcast).

Here's another: Lewis Bostwick was Bill Duby's mentor.

How about this one: The Spiritual Rights Foundation owns a farm in Bethel Island, CA.

One more: The Bishop never said the Spiritual Rights Foundation and Bill Duby represent the picture, the icon of "Jesus Effing Christ".

How many others were there?


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Some years ago, there was a series of TV ads for Isuzu cars featuring a guy telling tall tales named Joe Isuzu. As soon as he started spinning his stories ("Hi, I'm Joe Isuzu and this is my factory.") subtitles appeared saying things like "He's lying" or "Actually...".

Like many ex-members of the Spiritual Rights Foundation, I get flashbacks of the strange, horrible and demented experience there. Most are too messed up, traumatic and just plain scary to reveal here.

One such dream was interesting though:

I was sitting in a room with Joy and Bill Duby himself. We were having a conversation with him. Actually no one had a "conversation" with Bill. At best it was like a private sermon but usually, it was more like waterboarding.

Anyway, Bill began so spew things like "I never did that, I actually did..." or "I take care of people"; "I like people"; "I'm a giver."

As Joy and I listened in amazement to each statement (jaws dropped to our chest), subtitles popped up: "He's lying.", "Actually..." and "WTF?".

Bill was famous for his claims to channel anyone from God Himself down to the neighborhood wino at any time. This time, he channeled Joe Isuzu.

Or maybe, Joe Isuzu channeled Bill.


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When Angela Silva, Robin Dumolin and Debi Livinston-Boushey made an attempt to silence us through a baseless lawsuit I crushed like a cockroach, they claimed the things I say and the things the commentators say on this blog are untrue.

It didn't take long for them to turn tail and run, offering a settlement where they would abandon their claims against us in exchange for basically nothing.

Now if my blog and all the things revealed here is a lie, why give up? If their practices are so above-board, holy and spiritual and representative of the truth, it would be ME who would have to beg and grovel for a settlement. If this blog represented a lie or was based on a lie, it wouldn't be here anymore.

But what we know is Angela and Robin have a casual relationship with the truth. If information, facts make them look good, it's true. If not, it's a lie. And if someone asks about them, they don't just spin the facts (as any good politician would) - they just change the truth any old way they want.

If we are just misinterpreting their bad behavior as, well, bad behavior, what do their actions really constitute? Are their actions those of the man behind the curtain? Do we need to click our heels three times and say "There's no place like home."? Are they saying their lies are truths? Are they saying there is a deeper, inner meaning to their words and actions and we would be able to recognize them if only we had achieved their level of spiritual awareness and enlightenment?

Well if you are a thinking person, you may have encountered "Occam's Razor". That is the principle that says (in a nutshell) the simplest answer is most likely to be the correct one.

So instead of digging deep to extract the inner meaning of the words, acts and postures of the Spiritual Rights Foundation, why not keep it in Kindergarten and believe what seems apparent?

Because the simplest answer tends to be be correct one.


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I guess the skill of determining the truth from a lie is the best thing I got from the Spiritual Rights Foundation. It's a real shame I couldn't use it until I was long gone.

I hope you won't have to wait that long.

Unclean! Unclean!

One of the more annoying things about being trapped in the Spiritual Rights Foundation headquarters was the ever-present film of dirt, grease and other filth on the surfaces.  You just could not escape it.  The windows had a smoky haze on them - you wouldn't know it because the draperies were always drawn and the extraordinarily paranoid heavy black shades were almost always drawn over the windows making it impossible to see in or out.

The bathrooms were always bordering on barely-sufficient and gas station shit house.  I recall the smells of the  "downstairs" toilet and the smells of the main floor toilet were something between last week's forgotten leftovers and something the cat left on the porch.  Not quite enough to make your stomach lurch but just enough to make you pause before you entered.

The basement, where the "food" was kept was pretty much a disaster area.  The floor, always sticky with stuff you wouldn't want to think about.  The sparse furniture was generally filthy, the small sofa not only threadbare with sagging cushions, but a cloud of dust arose whenever someone sat on it.

Rodent traps and cockroach traps were laid everywhere.  In the main area, they were carefully (or not so carefully) kicked under cloth-covered tables so the public wouldn't see them.  In the basement, they were laid out for all to see.  No one considered that cleaning the premises and filling up the holes the vermin crawled through would have been a lot more effective.

Oddly, the spa was generally kept fairly pristine.  Well, no so odd as Bill Duby used it regularly and if he found someone's pubic hair floating in it, he'd throw one of his famous tantrums and use his psychic abilities to identify the owner of the hair so that he or she may be forced to suck the offensive materials up in their mouth.  The sauna was kept fairly clean as well.  It was required that towels be used to cover the surfaces and the heat kept on for a few minutes to dry and sanitize the sauna.

After Bill's death, those facilities were somewhat less well-kept.  I recall seeing a dark ring around the spa, when I never saw one before.  Leaves and dirt found their way into the sauna.  The fish pond and fountain were nearly overtaken by algae and whatever other green gunk wanted to grow there.  The backyard, once the pride of the cult, began to take on a more shabby appearance with the sauna looking drab and faded, the spa cracked and leaking.

The cult is holding one of their spa and therapy weekends this month.  I would imagine the faithful few got a hard-sell to attend at gunpoint, as usual.  I think that is what would be needed  if the "therapy" equipment is in as bad a shape as it was when I last saw them.

The kitchen was always covered in a thin film of grease that smelled, well, a lot like kitchen grease.  The dust that constantly floated in the air stuck to this film regularly.  I recall one time when one of the ministers climbed up a ladder to clean off the kitchen ceiling fan (so who in the hell puts a ceiling fan in the goddamn kitchen - the grease just gets blown all around the room!).  As he cleaned, his wad of paper towels scraped off thick, gummy layers of grease-soaked dust.  The women in the area cleared out.  Maybe not so much from the disgusting nature of his work but maybe because they considered those who clean to be themselves unclean.

And that comes to the real topic of this post:  our own social leprosy.

How often has the leaders of the Spiritual Rights Foundation made every attempt possible to separate us from the evil and corrupting influence of society so we may adopt their own evil and corrupt influence?

Have we all been instilled with fear so we may reject the societal norms that would allow us to conduct a normal life?

Have we all been indoctrinated with suspicion of those who "can't have it" or those who are less enlightened than ourselves?

What has that done to us, and our own sense of identity with our daily society?

To the world, the members of a cult are truly unclean.  Unclean in the manner of shunning society and rejecting the norms and values that form the fabric of our human relationships.  Unclean in the sense that our own unclean thoughts and  beliefs made us not only think and act as the hapless misguided followers of a mad man and his corrupt women we began to appear the part.

After surrendering to the evil clutches of the Spiritual Rights Foundation, those who knew my past persona noticed a change.  They could not put their finger on it, but a change there was and it was somewhat unusual and suspect.

Those who facilitated the change in my persona and spirit celebrated that change as it furthered the leader's iron grip of the cult by consuming yet another hapless victim.

Never before were we so willing an eager to empty our wallets, bank accounts and sell assets for the favor of three greedy and evil charlatans.  Never before would we blindly follow an admitted mad man and street hustler.  We could not imagine entrusting our children to a child molester and wife abuser.

But we did it.

And the price we paid was our exclusion from society.

We have been forced to cover our faces to our upper lip, to chant Unclean! Unclean! in the presence of the public.  We have been marginalized as those on the fringes of society.

But not any more.

Our travails have defined our new sense of character.  Those of us who can stand tall and proudly say we have confronted evil and survived are now thriving in ways the cult had never imagined.  Those of you who read this blog, those of you who share this dark experience are stronger because of it.

This blog is less about me and more about you.  Your strength and your determination to right the wrongs and stand up for yourself where you could not before.

This is for those who seek the solace of knowing the SRF experience is a bad dream that ended upon your awakening and the comfort from knowing that only true evil will prey on the good and pure.

And those good and pure are people just like you.

Your strength is your salvation.  You do not need to stand on a soapbox and run on at the mouth as I do.  In fact, unless you really like to hear people shouting "shut the fuck up, you half-wit cultie!" you may want to be the strong, silent type.

But it is your inner strength that drew you away from the bowels of evil.  And that strength is leading you to the life you were truly born to live.