The Bridge on the River Ellsworth - What Have We Done?

My God... what have I done?

Now before I get into this post, I'd like to remind the hair-splitters about something: what I am writing about is what I recall.  If you recall something different about a situation I write about, that's your right to believe.  Just remember, it's my right to write what I recall about the Academy for Psychic Studies, the Witches of Ellsworth Street, the psychotic founder Bill Duby or whatever else - even if my recollection is different from your own or even if I describe things differently from you.  I'd look forward to seeing those events in your own blog, though.

As for having fewer details than you would like - all I can say is I have other things to do than write out all activities that occurred before during and after a certain event.  Those who read this blog do as well.  While these posts are long for a blog, I certainly don't want them to get stupidly longer because I have to satisfy someone's desire to describe every event in real-time detail.  That is an impossible task anyway.

All that being said, I'm going to write about something we are all going to hate.  You may even hate reading about it.  I don't like writing about it either, if that's any help.

So if you aren't ready to see the kind of light that might bring you closer to humanity and nearer to the true purpose of Karma - the knowledge of your impact on the people and society interconnected to your life and your acceptance to conduct yourself with compassion and understanding, I guess you'd better bow out today and wait for the next time I blow a load online.


I remember watching The Bridge on the River Kwai by David Lean, with Alec Guiness as the lead.  It is a story about a Japanese prisoner of war camp somewhere in the jungle, housing British soldiers.  Apart from that tune the Brits whistled (the lyrics to which are something like: "Hitler has only got one ball...") there is line spoken by Alec Guiness at the end of the picture.  I'll tell you what it is at the end of this post.

The British prisoners were led by Alec Guiness.  As the commanding officer of the POW's, Guiness took most of the heat from his captors.  When the Japanese demanded he lead the prisoners in building a railroad bridge so more supplies can be brought to the Japanese troops kicking British ass, Alec Guiness gave them the finger and wound up tortured, beaten, starved and confined in a "hot box".

That treatment finally broke Guiness who led his troops to build a magnificent railroad bridge for the Japanese Army on which battlefield supplies would soon flow to the front line.  Unfortunately, those supplies would guarantee a steady supply of bombs and bullets to the Japanese and Allied troops would be slaughtered. Despite this obvious fact, the POW's took great pride in building the bridge and became somewhat miffed when British commandos arrived with dynamite to blow the damn thing to hell.  Guiness tried his best to subvert the commandos.

During the ensuing fire fight where Japanese soldiers, British Commandos and British POW's were being shot dead, Alec Guiness looked around and in a moment of realization said something like "My God... what have I done?"

It was his moment of clarity, his time of reflection as we called it.  It was Alec Guiness's time to realize all he accomplished was in the name of and for the purposes of perpetuating an evil and destructive agenda.  Worse, he participated willingly and with enthusiasm and verve.

Still unsure about his next step, Alec Guiness made it to the last remaining detonator wondering what to do.  Before he could push it, he was shot - landing right on the detonator's plunger which ignited the dynamite and destroyed the bridge.


So, that might not be the way you recall that picture but it's what I remember.  Anyway no matter how our recollections diverge, you might want to keep in mind there is a point that is bigger than who or what shot whom.

Here's what I am getting at:  like Alec Guiness, we found ourselves at the hands of tormentors who wanted what they wanted and would do whatever they felt like doing to get it.

How many of us were subject to the Witches' Kangaroo Kourt where your punishment was assessed before your conviction was assured?

How many of us were coerced into doing certain tasks or creating certain items for the hope of a reward that never came?

Were you also an unwitting participant in the construction of a bridge to deliver even more psychotic weapons to use against free and independent people?

Of course you were.  We all were.  Some who left are still at it.

Now, how many of you have come to that moment of realization that all you did, all you were compelled to do, all you thought was in the best interest of you, your friends and the world as a whole was used for the purpose of perpetuating evil?

Have you had that moment when you said "...what have I done?"

Of course, it's a major moment - one that requires courage and conviction.  It's a moment that requires you to honestly look back at all that happened and honestly say you participated.  It takes the strength of character and the recognition that you are connected to the society around you and that connection creates an impact whenever you take an action that effects society.


It takes someone of character, someone of deep honesty and conviction and it takes accepting the responsibility to acknowledge that your cult involvement has impacted society and that you accept the duty to take steps to make amends.

Although we were all under the influence of a psychotic conman and his two insatiable and despotic Witches, it was us who carried out much of their evil agenda.  We were the ones who have attracted the new people into the spiritual abyss.  We were the ones shooing away the cockroaches and keeping the dirt out of sight to our recruits.

Were we responsible for knowing and recognizing the flaws in the belief system?  Are we to blame for the exploitation?  Can anyone point to us as the root of the Academy's evil?

Obviously not.

However, while we were not the origin of the immoral and psychotic practices of Bill Duby, the Witches of Ellsworth Street, they did abuse and exploit us to help them maintain their iron grip on not only their slave labor pool but to help them show a false image of happy, enthusiastic and bright faces to the public.

We were told to make a public announcement supporting the crazy things the Academy did in the name of healing.  We were compelled to give praise and thanks to a reckless, psychotic conman whenever something favorable happened in our life.

Were we the ones who created the spiritual cesspool on Ellsworth Street?

No.  We didn't create it but we did help it live.

Now that the Spiritual Rights Foundation's breathing is becoming ragged and its pulse weak, it is up to us to pull them off life support, and ensure they are not resuscitated.

For the good of the world, for the benefit of mankind, this psychotic organization must be shut down and the damage it has done to the world must be repaired.

That is where we have a responsibility.

As we were compelled to sing the praises of this corrupt organization, it is our responsibility to inform the world of the damage done and potential for even greater carnage the Academy for Psychic Studies can inflict on innocent souls.

It's up to us to heal that damage.

Reconciling ourselves to our unwitting role in this con game, undoing the psychic damage and repairing relationships damaged by our own relationship with this psychotic organization are the tasks to be carried on our shoulders and ours alone.

As for returning the stolen property and money - that's a burden to be borne by the Witches of Ellsworth Street.

Joy and I gave the Witches the beating they deserved.  It was hard work and facing the specter of those evil and gnarled countenances wasn't frightening as much as it was disgusting.  I nearly vomited many times after I pictured them both feeding at the spiritual trough like sows in the pig pen.


Few of my colleagues of this spiritual cesspool possess the courage to accept their own responsibility to mend the rifts they created.  As these activities necessarily include an acceptance that cult membership isn't something you be able to forgive and forget, that cult membership is a permanent part of your being and that acceptance of your role in the creation, growth or maintenance of an evil cult has impacted society is just more than my contemporaries can deal with.  After all, we came into the Academy for Psychic Studies because we had something we were trying to get away from.


For the most part, we succeeded in getting away from whatever we thought was pursuing us.  The problem is: the things we learned at this cult had us forget our pain or suffering or whatever but it never really went away.  We never really stopped running and we never really forgot.  The few responsible ex-members around can tell you that.  If they don't, you'll know they haven't got the courage to be honest with themselves.  Without courage, places like the Spiritual Rights Foundation will continue to spawn more and more Witches of Ellsworth Street.

Those of you with true courage can continue the trail blazed by the people who came before you.  You know who they are: just Google "Spiritual Rights Foundation" and besides the names of the Witches, you'll find several familiar names.  Pick up where they had to leave off.  Don't allow this psychotic organization to take another breath.

There are several ways you can help the Witches refrain from even more exploitation of unknowing and unsuspecting people without committing the felony you might have in mind.  Make an appropriate report to law enforcement or regulatory agencies.  Drop links to this blog whenever you see some former or remaining member speak highly of the Academy.  Activities like those will give the public our side of this demented story as well as put the Witches of Ellsworth on the radar and under review to right at least some of the wrongs they committed with glee and enthusiasm.

You might remember we were told if one person is healed from our enslavement, it would be worth all the hard work.


Now, you can save a soul from enslavement and it won't take much work at all.  It just takes a small message and a link.  

Step One - You aren't alone.

The Witches won't let a guy have even a minute's peace.

One of the things a lot of Academy for Psychic Studies escapees think is that no one else has the same experience as they.  In fact, I'd bet several of the recently-departed are trying to go about their business like nothing ever happened.

What that's all about isn't much of a mystery.

Not only is it painful to recall and face the treatment, it takes courage.

Courage is something not exactly a human trait the Witches of Ellsworth Street wanted to encourage.  In fact, their standard operation was to intimidate and strike fear into the hearts of those who would dare to even question their iron grip on their followers and the evil operations of the Academy for Psychic Studies.

The recently-departed are the hard core who have been with the cult for anywhere between one and two decades.  They are the ones who's personal courage, conviction and personal values have been slowly eroded.  

So now if you ask about their experience, many of them will either not want to say a thing or will speak in wistful tones about their warm and nourishing time at the cult, looking over their shoulder to ensure Robin, Angela or the Bishop isn't nearby and hoping the person they are speaking with won't rat them out.

No one wants to admit they were duped.  No one wants to live life as a victim of a predator. Everyone would rather forget about a crap experience - especially if that experience included techniques that cause you to forget a hell of a lot of good, bad and meaningful experiences.

Those who face the facts and can "own it", those who can personify and accept who they are and what has happened are those who are the true survivors.  The below clip is from the film "Join Us", which has a topic, circumstances and personalities that are eerily familiar:

Blue Sky Bullshit

Imagine this guy in a minister's robe...

While we were entombed in this spiritual shit house, the Witches of Ellsworth, the Bishop and all of the brain-dead followers told us over and over again our spiritual leader was not only a spiritually perfect being, he knew every damn thing about any damn thing.  

Not matter how obscure, no matter how useless, Reverend Bill Duby was the authority on all things that matter and if he wasn't an authority on a topic, it didn't matter - which explains why Bill kept trying to dodge the law and knew not a damn thing about it.  Come to think of it, Angela and Robin don't know a damn thing about it either.  No wonder every time they try to pull a not-so-legal stunt, it blows back.

So, if you knew more than Bill about a topic that mattered (like maybe how to keep your marriage together or keep a steady job so you can feed your family), you'd find leaders, followers, your kids, everyone else's kids and Angela's fucking chihuahua saying not only are you stupid, your information is inferior to the divine and spiritually enlightened information of Bill Duby.

I keep thinking back to times when Rev. William Duby, the psychotic founder of the Academy for Psychic Studies, would posture himself as the ultimate authority on all things of any importance.  Things like the nature of relationships between men and women - never mind he divorced his first wife to cavort with Angela Silva, then dumped Angela to "marry" Robin Dumolin, then some years later stated with false remorse and honest anticipation his want to "divorce" Robin Dumolin, all while living with Angela Silva instead of Robin.  

So, I guess that kind of three-way relationship makes Bill a relationship expert as no one else is stupid and reckless enough to carry on an affair while having an affair.

Bill Duby would also present himself as an expert and visionary whenever the need arose to squeeze his followers for money.  One example was the infamous Blue Sky Ranch in Bethel Island, CA.

While Bill grew up in various foster homes around the East Bay and later (after a short stint in the Army) spent a lot of time in the gambling halls and dark streets of Emeryville as a card sharp and street preacher, his background was no barrier to Bill being a farm expert and authority on buying and developing real estate.

Bill spent a good deal of time showing me pictures of a farm he claimed was similar to the farm where he spent his childhood.  Bill reminisced about the beauty of the farmland in Upstate New York and told me quite a bit about it.  Imagine the look on his face when I said I spent a good deal of time in Upstate New York and lived in Pennsylvania farm country.  Imagine the look on my face, when years later, I discovered Bill Duby was never anywhere near any damn farm in Upstate New York or anywhere else.

I would have burned Bill in effigy but the bastard was already dead by then.  My consolation was his ashes were scattered all over the Blue Sky Ranch so not only were the Bethel Island winds blowing his dead ass all over the delta, the farm animals were doing to him what he was doing to us.

Bill's warped and deranged vision for the Blue Sky Ranch was to develop the property into a corporate/church retreat resort and maintain farming/livestock operations while keeping his two Witches in the cheap-ass trailer home the previous owner left behind and allowing his followers to park their recreational vehicles on the premises so Angela could throw them out at any time.  

As Bill pushed his followers to put his demented dream into reality, he became the expert on all things related to farming, construction and property development.  Bill directed all manner of construction and wanted his vision to be manifested in his way and his way only.

There was the infamous 12-foot fence he ordered erected.  Soon the building inspectors ordered it removed as it was twice as tall as allowed.

There were the Tuff Sheds Bill ordered for all manner of things he wanted to house in them - like animals who needed far less accommodation than an expensive Tuff Shed and more space than a Tuff Shed provided.

Bill ordered his followers to purchase dozens of trees as their gift to "the people's place" and provide slave labor to plant them, only to see the trees dry up and whither.  Come to think of it, it wasn't just the trees that dried up and withered.  The followers weren't far behind.  It never occurred to Bill to buy one or two trees and make a test planting, nor did it occur to Bill to do some research and see why there weren't many trees growing in Bethel Island (it was the weather and soil conditions).  

Old, dilapidated trailers were ordered so the followers providing slave labor would be housed well away from Robin Dumolin and Angela Silva - and so they can be hauled away quickly if a neighbor complained or if Angela had someone to dispose of.

Since Bill claimed he could buy a farm animal for $30 and sell it immediately for $90, hundreds of animals were purchased with the intent to raise them for market.  Under Bill's expert guidance, more than 90% of those animals (mostly goats) died before they reached maturity.  Attempts to raise other animals such as horses and even exotic animals like llamas never saw success.  

Oddly, after dozens and dozens of kid goats were exterminated through stupidity, Robin Dumolin was said to have made the Eisenstein-ian discovery that baby goats should be fed goat's milk rather than the supermarket milk that was ordered for them.  Robin's amazing feat of deduction was accomplished when she made a phone call to the UC Davis Veterinary School, where a kid from 4H said "uhhhh.... you're feeding supermarket milk to goats?  Lady, did you ever fucking hear of goat's milk?"  One wonders who ordered supermarket milk for kid goats and why an idiotic, obvious observation was treated as pure genius.  Oh, right.  They were cult leaders.  My bad... 

Of course, there was the interminable and pointless fight with the county.  Bill's old trailer home was required to be raised above flood plain.  Bill hated parting with money but he hated being shown up and told what to do even more.  He sent people to attend local council meetings, speak with local attorneys, review local ordinances.  Since the council meetings didn't have much relationship to his situation, the attorneys said the ordinance was pretty damn clear and as the followers couldn't really understand how to read the law, those efforts didn't get him very much.

Bill Duby's had everyone he could reach running in circles or asking the same damn people the same damn questions over and over again.  Things like asking county officials for clarifications of the ordinances hoping for a loophole (to which the officials said over and over: "the law says you have to do this, so get off your ass and do it").  When I looked around to see what kind of mischief Bill was undertaking, there were at least four people involved in some kind of "research" or other kind of pointless activity related to Bill dodging the law.

Bill went around in circles himself.  As he would have lost prestige if he lost his bid to avoid compliance with the law and worse, he couldn't sell a property he just purchased.  There was no real way for Bill Duby to come out looking like the authority and development genius he made himself out to be if he did the right thing and complied with the law.  Bill complained and stonewalled, complained and stonewalled more and ducked and weaved while he complained and stonewalled, blaming everything from the lack of support from his followers to the "old boys club" at Bethel Island for his troubles.

Then he dropped dead.

From that point, the Witches of Ellsworth pressed forward the demented vision of Bill Duby.  Not well, but they did it anyway.

The crap double-wide was raised up on stilts even if the concrete slab it rested on wasn't up to the task of holding it up.

Slaves were whipped and beaten until construction on the illegal dormitory and living areas were completed.

Outbuildings were placed, animals were purchased, raised, killed and buried and every week, there was the envelope - the envelope where followers were told to show their loyalty through a generous donation of cash, check or credit card.

Thanks from the witches was non-existent.  No one I know recalled that the Witches fed their slaves even a sandwich or anything at all for their work.  They were only told to give more so that more animals could be murdered or building supplies wasted.

Sill after all the work was completed, Angela had visions of renting the grounds out for corporate retreats.  When it was pointed out a corporation was more interested in digs far more posh (which may have been me laughing my ass off when she said something about it), those dreams were dashed.  So after that, Angela believed her illegal structure was suitable for housing foster kids and troubled teens who could benefit from working their ass off at her ranch while the county paid her a pretty penny.  When it was pointed out accreditation, qualified staff as well as safe and legal quarters were required, that plan was quietly dropped.

So why is it, the vision of the Blue Sky Ranch went unfulfilled?

Because it's not so much a clear vision as it is a hallucination.

 

The Manipulator's Manual

|

Couldn't have said it better myself...


If you have had any kind of exposure to Rev. Bill Duby, you were one of dozens who have experienced or witnessed Bill's attempts to manipulate thoughts and actions in an attempt to fleece his wretched followers out of their worldly possessions, fill Angela Silva or Robin Dumolin's cauldron with cash or work their asses off to enrich the Witches of Ellsworth street for no pay at all.

When the warlock dropped dead long after leaving a wake of destruction, the Witches made their own attempt at manipulation - emulating the warlock's wicked and demented practices and idiotic, unreal expectations of returns on his investments upon the unfortunate followers. However, as Bill's sometimes-subtle and sometimes-direct threats of physical hostility could not be attainable by the Witches of Ellsworth, the Witches relied on psychological degradation, personal insults and not-too-subtle threats to whatever remnants of your own esteem may remain.

The Witches would also enlist as much help to conduct their warm and nourishing healing treatments as they could muster. You would find your children, your spouse, your colleagues, your pets, the rodents and other vermin scurrying around in your Witch-owned apartment would pummel you with the same demeaning and dehumanizing treatment as the Witches. We've all seen it and we've all experienced it. At the Academy for Psychic Studies, relationships are not intended to cement a bond between two persons, it's used to maintain the influence, control and exploitation an individuals by exerting as much fear and intimidation within the relationship.

Look at all the relationships that formed at the cult. Look again at all the arranged marriages ("arranged" by the cult leader Bill Duby himself) resulting from those relationships. How many of them endured? Uhhh... nearly none. How many experienced the kind of conflict that is even more extreme than any Jerry Springer couple?   I guess... all of them. How many of us found ourselves in the spiritual dog house for weeks, months, even years, after a "counseling" session conducted by the psychotic madman Rev. William Duby or one of his Witches? Ummmm... everyone.

Even alone, you'd find somehow the "right" person comes into your life - someone who urges your complete devotion to the church and the evil despots who lead it. It wouldn't take long before you find the affection you could receive in your relationship was somehow related to the time, money and free labor you gave to the Academy for Psychic Studies, Angela Silva and Robin Dumolin.

While we saw the connection, we never found the will, the determination to remove ourselves from the manipulation and find freedom from the perverted influence of Bill Duby and his Witches of Ellsworth Street.

Of course, Bill and the Witches do no wrong. Even when the Witches administer heavenly punishment to those who interrupt their Witch-ly cash flow or inadvertently make a statement that causes the other wretched and deluded followers to question the Witches motives, the verbal waterboarding, the isolation the Witches impose on their target, the process of tearing away every shred of that person's humanity through the Witches making none-too-subtle displays of hatred, the only path to forgiveness with the Witches is a public display of self-criticism, profuse apologies, the surrender of all your worldly possessions and an indeterminate sentence of reform through labor at their Blue Sky Ranch.

Of course, those who receive such warm an nourishing treatment deserve every bit of it. After all, no one should question the Witches' motives as they pick your pocket while they slap you in the face. None should dare protest as their children are slowly lured away then later snatched from their arms when the Witches need someone to demean a victim. Not a soul should ever speak of the Witches' mistreatment and exploitation because neither Robin Dumolin nor Angela Silva have so much as a slightly crooked bone in their bodies.

Even when the experiences of the Witches' victims point to maltreatment and exploitation the Witches continue to deny the followers were treated with anything more than warmth and nourishment. As the Witches conducted a rape, looting and pillage of their follower's personal resources, the observation that losses in follower's fortunes increased as the Witches' fortune expanded was denied by everyone under their spell.

So of course the Witches of Ellsworth do no more than support the well-being of their followers. As the Witches say they are such warm, nourishing, kind and loving fairy godmothers there would be no reason to raise any doubt or express any criticism for their humble and charitable efforts to enlighten those who can have the boundless generosity only the Witches of Ellsworth can dispense.

That is why the Witches of Ellsworth fight those who would tarnish their pure and benevolent image. The truth that the Witches cheat no one and deprive none of their assets or children, that the Witches have given so much to raise the vibration of those who can have their heightened awareness and spirituality is all you need to know of their kindly and beneficial motives.

If you believe that, I'd like to share whatever it is you have in your pipe.


*******************************************
Speaking of sharing, Steve Sanchez has contributed this addition:

Hi Mike, great post. Simple and clear. The information about manipulation is good advice. I valued not so much in regard to the cult, but from the way my wife after the cult treated me. It helps me and probably others to have this kind of information so we can identify better how to deal with it.

One of the hardest things for me to deal with after the PTSD of the cult is conflict. I am much better in many ways, but trauma and reaction cause agitation and fear, and i can't help feeling it. I can't help it when it is a personal real situation. 

My ex was a terrible, compulsive manipulator but hardly even knows it. it is true that you can't change the manipulator, but one can identify it and learn to not be inwardly manipulated as best as possible, or identify when we have. 

We all tend to manipulate when we are triggered, because we regress back to an emotional state of the past or childhood, where we are motivated by desperate self-protection and survival. So there is a very powerful emotional drive that keeps us acting out the same pattern and not being able to change it. The real trouble with this comes when we have such a addition to this emotion that it displaces our ability humble our self to something higher.

*******************************************

The Manipulator's Behavior Defined

Manipulators are very good at controlling others. Their behaviors consist of flattering, threatening, making you feel guilty, and demeaning you. You may get confused over a period of time because they use different tactics to best fit what they want at the time. If you often feel stressed and resentful after spending time with this person, you are most likely dealing with a manipulator.

The manipulator's behavior defined:

Flattery. Manipulators will pour on the flattery when they think it will help them work their way into a person's life. Manipulators use flattery to pull in unsuspecting prospects. Every time you turn around they pour on the compliments, sometimes to the point of being ridiculous.

Threats. Threats can be subtle or they can be severe. Some threats may include refusing to allow family members to see the children, divorce, and even suicide. In many cases these are just empty threats because manipulators are bullies on the outside, but cowards on the inside. However, never take a threat lightly and always take the proper precautions to protect yourself.

Guilt. Manipulators will make you feel guilty if you try to call them on the carpet. They are never wrong in their eyes and in most situations you cannot win against a manipulator. They play the victim and place the blame on everyone but themselves. You will find yourself constantly apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong. The best thing you can do is not deal with a manipulator at all.

Demeaning. When things don't go their way they will try to tear you down. They will call you names, talk bad about you to others, and sometimes even physical abuse is involved. The manipulator will try to wear down your self esteem so that you will become dependent on him/her. Most manipulators have terrible self-esteem issues.

Tips on dealing with a controller or manipulator.....

*When you recognize that you have been controlled or manipulated, distance yourself from the manipulator and his/her agenda.

*You should know that you cannot change them. You can only change your reaction to their bizarre behavior. (Many times you don't even realize how bizarre their behavior really was until you are away from it for a while.)

*Have the self-respect to stand up for yourself and do not let the controller take away your independence any longer. Life was meant to be enjoyed with a person who respects you and allows you to be yourself.

*Don't blow off the opinions of your friends and family. They have your best interest in mind. If everyone who cares about you is concerned about your relationship, trust them. You may be under such control that you just can't see it for what it is. Once you get away from the manipulator you will begin to see it for what it truly is.

*Know that people like this rarely change and probably the best thing for you to do is remove yourself from this type of relationship and not look back.

*******************************

Just remember: the Witches say they learned at the foot of the master.  We all know who that master is and we know what he mastered.

Con men don't change their stripes and Witches never stop stirring the cauldron.  

That's all the reason anyone needs to keep their eyes open and keep their minds to themselves.  Relinquishing either to the control of the Witches and the last of their goon squad (you know who that is: the corpulent, rotund, baggy-eyed sycophant who tries to charm new victims while quietly seething about you, me and most of all - this blog) is the first step towards handing over all you have and all you may acquire.

Especially your soul.

 

The Academy for Psychic Studies - Little things, big trouble.

Me in my youth today (I'm the guy driving fast on drugs while
getting my wing-wang squeezed and not spilling my drink).

 Me today in my youth.
Forever a Republican.

Aren't Road Trips the greatest?

We've all got stuff going on in our lives.  Some things in the past, some current, some are yet to come.  Not all of them are pleasant but I'm sure you have found they can all be overcome.

In fact, most of us find those little issues in life tend to go away with only a little effort and pass quickly.

Unless you make too big a deal out of it and let those little issues become big, burning daunting problems.

The Academy for Psychic Studies say they are there to help you "blow pictures".  Those "pictures" are just things you may believe or may be memories of those little issues in your life.  It's true that some things (maybe a major trauma like being assaulted or spending a decade in a cult) can take up a lot of your consciousness.  Those kind of items need serious help from serious professionals.  The psychotics of the Academy for Psychic Studies just aren't prepared to help you with those things - so, you'll be told to just forget about that trauma and hand over your wallet.  And forget about seeing the professionals too, while you're at it.  You won't have money left for them anyway.

Among the Academy psychotics, the little things get amplified - amplified into major traumas that only the psychotics can cure.  And you may have been laughing at them at all these years, telling stories about those exploits over a beer with your frat brothers, watching them laugh so hard beer comes out of their nostrils.

Let's say you were a wild man in your younger days.  Let's say your dad had a cow that time you jacked his BMW M5, packed it with girls wearing next to nothing then drove it into a tree after you beer bonged a six pack.  You and the girls were unhurt, the M5 looked a little ugly, that beer smell took a long time to get out of the leather seats and who the hell knows how the cops didn't find you.  Still, dad messed in his Donna Karan suit trousers and passed out. You never even got to second base with the girls.

(legal note: I cannot confirm or deny the above is autobiographical.)

OK, so most of us hearing that tale (the frat boys, at least) would laugh our ass off and would give you the appropriate amount of  "dude, you kick ass!" and "didn't you even get a motorboat from the hotties?" while wishing we had the balls to do likewise.

Not the psychotics at the Academy for Psychic Studies.

Even if that incident was well in your past, even if you got married, began driving your Volvo no faster than the speed limit and started hating on your teen about the dangers of beer bonging with naked hotties (well, maybe not that part), the revelation of your youthful indiscretion (which you have to admit, if you survived it, you'd have to be living a charmed life) would be interpreted as trauma of the highest order that has burned a permanent scar in your persona and spirit.

That incident would have triggered a slew of psychic healings, readings and endless classes and workshops costing hundreds to thousands of dollars.  You'd be told that "education" was what you need to heal the psychic wounds, the spiritual shortfalls and your psychic insult to the tender sensibilities of Angela Silva and  Robin Dumolin.

Your quest for salvation will rest in the warm and nourishing hands of the Academy for Psychic Studies.

The problem is you will be sent on a quest that has no purpose, no benefit and no end while those warm and nourishing hands rifle through your pockets for your lunch money.

The incident you and your frat brothers laughed at will be used by the psychotics to keep you exactly where they want you: yearning for spiritual perfection.  Yearning for the relief to your tortured soul and forgiveness you'll never get and never needed in the first place.

It's how they keep you in control.  It's how they distract your attention while they pick your pocket.  It's how they insert themselves into your life and ingratiate themselves into your most valued relationships. 

Not all of us were wild men or women in our youth.  But trust me, they'll find something.  If they can't find something, they'll make it up saying they had an unimpeachable psychic vision of your indiscretions and that they and they alone hold the key to your salvation.

So many of us have those little things in life that are embarrassing but laughable.  Some are really minor, some a little more profound.  But still, time and the value of laughing about it with your friends and family healed the embarrassment.  Laughter is good medicine.  Why would you need the advice of trained psychotics to help you when you've already healed on your own?

If you do decide to join the Academy for Psychic Studies, just remember one thing before you reveal anything to them:  when you hear them laugh while you tell your story, they aren't laughing with you - they are laughing AT you.