Joy and I went for a way-too-brief visit with our friend Jeff who goes by psychdoctorate. We went to Taylor's Refresher for some great, casual vittles and good conversation.
Taylor's is a family burger stand in St. Helena, CA. They serve Ahi Tuna burgers (the best) and Blue Cheese burgers (they are amazing) with fine Napa Valley wine - hey, it's a Napa Valley burger stand. Did you expect flat cola and gluey cheeseburgers?
There was a community event there and the place was overrun with little kids. Taking in the sight, Jeff asked us how many kids we wanted. We had to think about it. Odd that we had to pause to think but I do know why. There was something lurking in the back of my mind. It was evil. Sinister.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about my night with my niece. Taco Bell, DVD's, popcorn (with a couple of cans of Coke sneaked past my sugar-averse wife and sister-in-law) made for a great night. B
ut the thought at the end of the evening that put me into a really depressed mood has stuck with me - and it reared it's ugly head right there, that night.
I can't help it. I have to say something about this and just how sick and perverse the whole situation was - and may still be.
I know one thing - when it came to the children of their followers, the leaders of the Spiritual Rights Foundation observed no boundaries and practiced no restraint.
Robin Dumolin, Angela Silva and Bill Duby were frequently touted as the "spiritual godparents" of certain of the SRF children. Robin, Angela and Bill accepted their roles with gusto.
Even though Bill had a child of his own, he seemed to be constantly surrounded with his follower's kids. He nearly seemed like the parent of these children. And why not, nearly all of the children related to me Bill was more of a parent to them than their own parents.
Now, were those children victims of abuse or neglect?
Well, no. Not at the hands of their parents anyway.
Bill did keep the parents busy with classes, workshops, work projects, long and vicious verbal abuse, intense and protracted sessions of projecting many of his own bad habits and shortfalls onto the hapless parents for so much of the day, no one had the strength or opportunity to see their kids before bedtime.
He did, of course, alienate children against their parents while elevating himself, Robin and Angela in their eyes.
And through it all, Bill justified his actions by using his honorary title of "godparent" saying he was "fathering from above". Robin and Angela (Angela in particular) were said to be providing divine motherhood for the children.
The role of a godparent is generally accepted as an adult, well familiar in the doctrine of a particular church, who is entrusted to help guide a child's spiritual and religious education. In a legal sense, godparents have no particular parental rights with their godchildren. In a religious sense, they don't either. They are essentially, the child's spiritual advisers; assistants to the parents empowered to speak up on matters of religion as they effect the child and on religion only.
As he did with many other things, Bill took that simple (and limited concept) and ran with it, creating a re-interpretation of the role of "godparent" to a whole new and perverse level.
In Bill's mind, "godparents" were so empowered to assist in the spiritual development of children, there were no bounds to his influence. No limits to his behavior. And no one to stop him, either.
The kids spent more time with Bill, Robin and Angela than their own parents. I know. I saw it. It is unusual for the church's spiritual leaders to be godparents to their follower's children. Actually, it NEVER happens - except in a cult.
Oh, did I say "CULT"? I meant a warm and nourishing spiritual kindergarten. my bad... Naahhh.... I really meant CULT.
The children were also very aware about how Bill. Robin and Angela spent more time with them than their own parents. I know. The kids told me.
It got so bad, the children were looking to Bill, Robin and Angela for guidance: asking life questions about themselves or who they are or about their parents. The answers were usually phrased around men playing games with women for the purpose of control, deception and manipulation. I know. I listened in on such conversations.
Bill's role as "godfather" was so pervasive, he displaced the real fathers in the lives of the children. He was sure that Robin and Angela were equally enlightened and they soon implanted themselves as "godmothers" with a similar level of interest and as unrestrained as Bill ever was.
Who knows if if Bill watched "The Godfather" too many times, hoping to be a new Don Corleone. Maybe he thought he could create real, honest-to-goodness fairy godmothers here on Earth? Whatever he was thinking, the effect was displacement of the real parents in the child's life for the heavenly misguidance of Bill, Robin and Angela.
I've already written about displacing parents. But the last few days, I kept asking the question: why bump off parents who did nothing more than conceive a child?
I'm really not sure. But I have a guess.
I was prompted to think about this by Jeff's question about how many kids Joy and I want (and I know that sounds unusual). I later related a story to Jeff about Bill elevating the image and status of Angela Silva by saying (among other things) "...they took away her children but she still likes men."
Actually, "they" turned out to be none other than Bill himself.
Some years ago, Bill and Angela were living in a house in Emeryville, CA with Angela's young teen daughter. According to several ex-members, it came out that the daughter had made an allegation to her school counselor that Bill had molested her over a number of years (I would imagine this incident played a huge role in Bill's dictate that the SRF "kids" be home schooled. No school, no school counselor. No school counselor, no worries!).
Bill was so panicked about facing an existence in San Quentin as the special friend of a guy named "Butt-dozer", he asked one of the members to retain an attorney to make arrangements to send the girl to her father in exchange for the girl and her father refusing to cooperate with law enforcement.
The daughter was so angry about her abuse and forced silence she made no contact with her mother for many years. It was until the daughter was well into adulthood (and years after Bill's death) that a reconciliation would take place.
Who knows what Bill said to Angela to set those wheels in motion. The more interesting part to me is what Bill may have done later to compensate Angela for the loss of her daughter. Angela was already set up as a member of the board of directors at SRF and was starting to receive enough income to keep her in credit cards, luxury cars and shopping sprees at Macy's.
So, what was the hole Bill had to fill and how did he fill it?
I think Bill wanted to satisfy Angela's need for motherhood and relieve the pain of losing her daughter in what could be the most cruel and disgusting way possible: he used his followers as surrogates to provide children for Angela. He reduced innocent children to playthings to satisfy the emptiness he created in his partner. He used them to help him avoid the pain of retribution that would surely take place if his partner realized what really happened.
There's something just as perverse. For many years, Bill wanted children with his partner, Robin (no one is sure they ever legally married - they never wore rings and they did not usually refer to each other as "husband" or "wife" as most married couples do). But Robin was famous for balking whenever Bill had that look in his eye. You know:
that look.
I'll bet Bill was softening her up by keeping kids around her so he could get right in there (so to speak) and have one of their own.
Bill Duby related (in one of his amazing, and inspiring stories of heavenly and divine lust) that after Robin Dumolin brushed past him without saying a word one night, he followed her, broke down the door to her apartment and took her forcefully right on the living room sofa. OK, Bill being Bill, he didn't actually say he "took" her. Bill's description of how his spiritual lust guided him to kick down the door and do the nasty with his spiritual wife was pretty close to rape.
I hope he had the decency to shut the door behind him. Who wants to hear THAT going on? Oh, right. He broke the door down. My bad...
A short time later, he told us he learned he would be a father when Robin said to him "I hope you're satisfied. I'm pregnant."
wow
I hope Joy doesn't give me the news like that.
Note to self: to prevent nasty demeanor in spouse, avoid rape.
Sorry, that should have been note to Bill. My bad again...
Robin was surrounded with children almost as much as the other two leaders. Generally, she said her own daughter wanted playmates and that explained the constant presence of the member's children.
But to me, to others it looked like more than that.
The child of one SRF couple seemed to be around Robin a lot. Not in the way that makes you say it's something cute. It's more like Paris Hilton with her fashion accessory chihuahua.
I think Bill Duby took "godparent-ing" so far, he not only used children to maintain his status with his women but he used his influence, Robin's influence and Angela's influence to maintain assert control over the children and their parents. I have already written about the disgusting, horrible manner that Bill displaced fathers. Kids soon ignored their own fathers, brushing right past them so they can run into Bill's arms at bedtime.
When one of the fathers clashed with Robin and the leadership, we heard Robin refer to herself as the "spiritual mother" of the child. Saying the father was unavailable and distant and the mother too crazy to have been a good mother. Robin made herself available to this child at all hours, taking the child with her and spending as much time with her as possible while she helped the child's mother plot a divorce action designed to ram the father out of the picture. This behavior continued until the child was in the teenage years.
The real parents were certainly not cast in Bill's mold. By any standard, they were good parents given the circumstances and both had a good, solid bond with the child. But when the father had a falling-out with Robin, Robin worked hard to be sure the father was worked out of the child's life.
The faithful few remaining at the Spiritual Rights Foundation would love to name the SRF leaders as godparents of all the children - no matter how the "godparent" role works out.
Because SRF godparents are the best godparents. And a good godparent should always displace real parents. In the best interest of the child's welfare and spiritual development, of course.
Bill Duby kept spouting "it takes a village to raise a child" over and over and over again. It was enough to make you seasick. We assumed he meant WE were the village. In Bill's damaged mind though, the village was he, Robin and Angela.
And that village was an exclusive one. One child hovered around the periphery of Bill's village receiving then not receiving the same attention showered on the others. One child was excluded altogether. Another child was on the outs for a number of years until attrition (and growing up) thinned out the ranks of the SRF children. The village got lonely, apparently.
There are only two very small children left at the Spiritual Rights Foundation. I have no idea how things are shaping up for them. I hope they don't wind up as a plaything, seeing nothing but the walled garden of the village and encountering no one but its leaders. Those children deserve a better existence than that.
I hope the village closed the Kindergarten for the children's sake.
