Stop the Silence

That symbol was a rallying cry in the 80's. Back in the day, people with AIDS and HIV were not only very sick, they were left on their own without the help they needed and without representation in the government and society they needed to help them survive.

I'm sure you know how that was handled. I hate to think about it, much less write about it. Although I will tell you something that was a fairly common attitude at the time. I was dating a girl in Southern California. One Sunday, we attended church with her parents. Just before the service, we were conversing and the subject of AIDS came up. Her mother turned to me and said, "We believe AIDS is God's punishment to the gays" and left it at that. No, I didn't date that girl much longer after that.

Back in the day, we as a society chose to keep the issue of those with AIDS and HIV a secret - as if you could catch it by talking about it. The White House senior staff advised our president, Ronald Reagan, to take no position and to stay silent. By speaking out, the president could cause a national controversy and a loss of his conservative political base, they counseled.

It wasn't until some time later, that President Reagan and the First Lady realized revealing the issue of AIDS was an issue of simple decency. It was their duty as America's First Couple (and that of the President) to preserve human dignity - especially to those with AIDS. So, they responded. They spoke out in favor of providing support and funding to help those with AIDS.

Once the issue of AIDS was supported, the public respond with new supportive attitudes. President Reagan approved millions to fight the disease and improve attitudes. The ultra-conservative Surgeon General told people to use condoms to protect themselves and agreed he had to help do something. New treatments for HIV/AIDS were developed in a fairly short time and those infected were saved from a terrible fate. Many of those with HIV infections were able to maintain a normal life.

I can't imagine what would happen if the Reagans remained silent. How would the epidemic of AIDS have progressed? How many lives would be lost?

Before I wrote this blog, I had to deal with my own state of silence. I had to deal with my own sense shame and the acceptance of personal punishment sent from above. I had to deal with my sense of staying invisible and my fear of inciting controversy and the possibility of losing people who I once knew.

What woke me up was the sense that I was like a can of soda sitting in the sun - it wouldn't take much to make a fountain happen.

And fountain it did. As I said earlier, I saw this blog as a kind of internet graffiti - sometimes seen but rarely noticed. And for a while, that is what happened.

I have evolved this blog from my own need to vent to creating a public service. Giving the other side of the story to an otherwise unsuspecting public. Revealing the true events the Spiritual Rights Foundation does not want anyone to know and speak the true insight the Spiritual Rights Foundation would otherwise suppress.

And we have stood tall in the face of the petty tyranny displayed by the Spiritual Rights Foundation. SRF filed a lawsuit intended to silence us. They failed. We successfully defended their despotic and maniacal action to suppress us. By doing so, we have defended YOUR rights to speak the truth; YOUR rights to speak your mind; YOUR right to associate with whom you please.

Still, of all of us involved in the SRF quagmire, only a few have dared to speak out in various ways through the news media and their own publishing activities.

But many remain silent. They sit like that can of soda on a hot day, waiting for someone to pop the tab so they can vent the unrelenting pressure.

I know that pressure. I know the pain of having to contain the outrage, the pain, the sense of unfairness of the rule of petty tyrants.

And know many who feel the same.

Maybe someone like you.

If you want to say something but are afraid of rocking the boat, think of this: how much of a spell is the Spiritual Rights Foundation keeping you under?

You may find the spell is nothing more than a man behind a curtain.

Are you afraid of repercussions? I'll tell you this: they have nothing on anyone.

Especially you.

There is a group of many people who blazed the trail for you and defeated the petty control tactics, the outlandish behavior and the abuse. Several brave parents brought their stories to the news media and the courts. They restored their relationship with their children and healed the damage wrought by SRF.

I fought a frivolous suit and successfully defended your right to speak your mind.

If you want to speak, if you need to speak, now is the time.

The only question is: what would you like to say?

You can speak for your own healing.

You can speak to get the SRF monkey off your back.

You can speak to help others who may fall into the cesspool of abuse as we have.

You can speak out publicly. You can speak in private. You can speak to a professional. You can speak to your friends, your neighbors, your family.

Speak out to someone. Find someone who will listen and someone who can help. Some of those people are listed on the right side. Speak with them. They will listen.

You and I have suffered through the unrelenting pressure to hide. The fear of disclosure, the shame of being deceived.

And even now, the Spiritual Rights Foundation tries to exert the fear and oppression only a despot can engender.

To capitulate will begin the silence of your mind, the submission of your spirit, the suppression of your voice that will certainly lead to the death of your soul - a death at the hands of a cult.

A death at the hands of petty despots.

If "freedom is the essence of life", would you continue to hide silently in the darkness or emerge from the shadows to embrace life in the light of truth?

Will you conduct your own act of decency and come out of the shadows to restore your own sense of human dignity and preserve the dignity of those who shared your experience?

It's your choice now.

Are you content to allow your soul to die?

Or will you emerge and live your life?

Many of you might prefer to remain silent. Some of you may think you must remain silent.

Of course, you have every right to be silent.

I will leave you with this thought, though:

SILENCE = DEATH

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Here are comments from the original post:
Anonymous said...

Here is a scene that is an example of what Mike is talking about: Bill Duby, the cult leader, went on for hours, talking about me in the third person to the class about how sick my soul was and comparing me to others who “stole money” from SRF and who were now “asleep,” or in other words, in a state of spiritual death. He painted all those who had left SRF as having fallen into karmic ruin, or as power-tripping fools whom he had completely defeated mentally, or as people who had basically become psychologically debilitated or insane from messing with the teaching.

When we heard this, part of us was vengefully delighted that we were doing so much better than those who had left, and the other part of us was full of dread and determined to never suffer such an unthinkable fate.

Rev. Bill often said, “I am happier here in my misery as a prisoner of the teaching than most of you are in you freedom.” During his usual monologue, he occasionally got Rev. Ang and Robin to say something devastating about me, and sometimes addressed me directly for an answer. They went on to tell their plans of what they were going to do with me. As they talked about me in the third person, I found some distance between myself and them.

I was shaken beyond my capacity and knew this was not right. I knew at this point that I would have to leave. The thoughts of the horror and hatefulness of the place were growing stronger in my mind, but concurrently I still thought Rev. Bill was an authority and that he had spiritual power.

It was strange how the two antagonistic thought patterns coexisted in my mind. Because I still feared Rev. Bill as an authority, I was deeply doubtful and concerned about my own moral standing with God.

This is where the two diametrically opposed thought patterns started to merge and I would have to sort it out, one painful, fear-filled thought at a time. I was desperate. I had to find a way out of this nightmare.

July 16, 2009 1:46 AM




Mike Kawahara said...

Thanks Steve.

You spoke out about your experience and revealed the truth about the abuse, lies and cruelty you endured. By doing that, we have seen you regain your life and find the strength to continue.

I found Steve and others who have been candid about their experiences with SRF and have been open and communicative about their disappointments, anger, frustrations and guilt were more able to find healing and recovery - things they longed to receive from the very cult that abused them.

To stay silent about the abuse is the beginning of a long, difficult road. To maintain the lie, to keep up appearances, to "fake it until you make it" works like a Vycodin for your soul. You might feel good for a while - a long while even. But that issue remains, the pain returns and you'll need another dose - putting you on the destructive cycle of pain and healing SRF used to exploit and control you.

Staying silient about your plight continues the SRF trademark of hypnotic control, leading to the death of your soul and the elimination of your spirit for life (YOUR life).

To speak out may be rocky at first, but with the support of others who share your experience, you will find the road will be easier to navigate.

You will find you can life your life and enjoy it.

You can live your life without fear.

Please see my post about our pledge.

Our hands are open and the coffee pot is on. And we won't make you pay for a cup.

I'll even pick up a nice, fresh bag of Peet's for you and a dozen Krispy Kremes.

Joy makes some mean baklava as well. It's all yours.



Marilyn Daily Junkins said:

I left SRF 19 years ago after 7 years of tyranny.

The last two years, after I was "ordained" were brutal, horrific years of shame and torture where I felt I was living in two worlds without anyone to whom I could really talk; who could really understand what I was going through. I knew I couldn't speak with Angela, Robin, Debi or Bill ... they would only make me feel worse, or demand money to heal me.

What a relief when I left SRF and discovered my own inner healing over time.

Even after all this time, I was so glad to find Mike and Joy's blogs and to learn that I was not alone in my experience.

Thank God the two of you, Steve, and Mason, all had the courage to speak of your experiences and free yourselves from the bondage of Bill's mind.

I hope that the others still there can find the way out and SRF can be disbanded without ruining any more lives. Friend me at Facebook to get my email address.