Love, Hate, Rinse, Repeat

During our internment at this psychotic and deluded mass of human sewage, the head psychotic spent a lot of time displaying his extreme mood swings, ranging from inconsolable temper tantrums to depressions so deep, he would all but disappear.

During his explosive ranting and unrelenting displays of raw and unrestrained anger, Bill Duby would unload his frustrations directly on the people he depended on the most: his followers.

In our quest to please the cult leader we took his abuse so we could do a better job for him the next time.  The problem was, there was a next time, another next time, a time after that and another time to be named later.  The abuse never ended.

Despite the abuse, so many of the loyal members tried their level best to appease Bill.  Even though that was an impossible task, like Sisyphus pushing that damn rock up the mountain, the attempts to look good in Bill's eyes went on and on.

I remember one of Bill Duby's tantrums.  Bill caught wind of an argument between a husband and wife.  Those of you who are married, were married, are about to be married or heard about marriage know spouses have tiffs, like, all the time.  My wife and I went back and forth on the color of the kitchen for over a year until we wised up and hired a decorator to do it for us.  I figured if the decorator fucked up, my wife would yell at him.  My wife figured if the decorator did fuck up, she would yell at me anyway.  Married life...

Anyway, this marital disagreement Bill Duby caught wind of concerned the taking of a vacation.  One spouse suggested "Hawaii".  The other suggested "fuck that".

Not a big deal.  Marital disagreements get worked out.  Especially vacation disagreements.  As I was recovering from a really bad bout with a fungal infection at the time, I didn't catch Bill's entire meltdown (was trying to take in some steam or something in the back yard).  However, I do recall hearing the wife saying something like "I just don't want to go, Bill" and Bill Duby beginning one of his unrestrained tantrums about marriage this and "fuck you" that.

As Bill turned on his heel to storm back to his apartment (a bad move as Angela was there waiting to pounce on him) the husband trailed behind him explaining something I couldn't quite make out.  Bill suddenly turned to face the husband to say whatever it was he wanted to say, waving his arms in the air, face as red as one of Robin's hate letters.

I don't recall exactly what he said but I do know it was something about Bill being pissed off the wife wouldn't take a va-ca to the island paradise with her husband.  I forgot to add, this marriage was one of the many Bill Duby boasted he had arraigned through whatever complex and convoluted legerdemain he thought he conducted.

Through his crazed ranting, raving and otherwise psychotic tirades, Bill alternately blamed this affront to his deranged concept of matrimonial bliss on the wife, then the husband, then the wife, then the husband, then whoever else he saw in the room.

That marriage was maintained to some degree - for a while, although the couple lived apart for much of that time.  Bill planted rumors about the husband being "healed" in all-night sessions of waterboarding so a miraculous reconciliation would soon happen.  The husband in particular wanted to please Bill so he would sit and take it, while Bill poured water down his throat.  Incredibly, as the husband tried harder to look good in the eyes of his tormentor, the wife was displaying a rare and unacceptable amount of independence.  Unacceptable, that is, only to Bill and the witches.

So unacceptable was the wife's independence to Bill, one night he threw her across his knee yanked her pants down and spanked her into submission.  I saw this happen.  So, if you think that is a "embellishment" well... Cee-Lo you.

At any rate, I guess it was then the couple made an attempt to at least look like they were getting along.  

However some time after Bill Duby's timely death, the marriage collapsed and the spouses went their separate ways.

Believe it or not, I've met several ex-members who still hold Bill Duby in esteem for one thing or another - while they bemoan Bill's habit of lashing out at anyone for imaginary reasons and making people do nutty things just so he could have a good laugh.

One of them is mentioned above.

That person is not the only one, of course.  My wife and I have heard from people who want to "heal" one or another of us for various reasons - usually the same reasons Bill had for "healing" us from independence, self-determination and the freedom provided by providence and the Constitution of the United States.  These new age carbon copies of Bill Duby never realized they were attempting the same methods of mind control and spiritual deception Bill was so skillful at.  Unfortunately for them, what Bill did so well was something they couldn't pull off no matter how hard they tried (and they tried really hard).

Apart from their failures (which are plentiful) the one thing they have in common is they acknowledge in various degrees that Bill was demented, deranged and somewhat psychotic. They also point out Bill had areas of vast wisdom and experience that were not only helpful but deserve recognition and admiration.

Things like the chihuahua epidemic that hit SRF.  Bill's knowledge base about little yap dogs came on so abruptly, it was clear to me he had acquired it by the seat of his pants.  Kind of like your kid knowing every damn thing about an iPhone overnight just before he gets you to buy one for him and pay his $135 bill every month.

Not just his doggie data but Bill's questionable business skills, his propensity to use Robin as a garage for his penis without her really wanting it there, his shady, murky and unverifiable life achievements - all the things I expose here (with proper verification, of course) have been criticized as anything from exaggeration to damned lies.

I guess the critics forgot to read the "with proper verification" part.  My opinions of Bill and my commentary thereof has been formed from my own true experiences, the true experiences of others or shared true experiences.  What part of "true" do the critics fail to understand?

For the critics, it seems that what's true is false and what's imaginary is real. You can't blame them - that's what they were taught at SRF.  For them, the brainwashing and thought reformation was not only effective, it was complete.  They hold on to the fantasy of a perfect spiritual being in the form of a middle-aged man with a pot belly and a pockmarked face.

I've heard from ex-SRF-ies who excoriate Bill Duby in every possible manner describing him as everything from asshole to xenophobe (I can't think of an appropriate word starting with "z", or "y") but in the same breath, defend his superior knowledge, abilities and superhuman accomplishments.

For those of us who have breathed the fresh air of freedom and have regained our independence of thought, our image of Mr. Duby is something like the way a dog views a fire hydrant.  To those who still find truth and meaning in Duby, his image remains as a religious icon as well as the things he proved he was not: teacher, counselor, mentor and companion.

The ex-members who still cling to a beatific image of Duby are apparently the ones who succumbed to his mind control in a very profound way and have been, as yet, unable or unwilling to step out of the artificial bounds of the perverse thinking taught by Duby and into the unlimited universe of freedom.

It may be the fear of the unknown that keeps them in the isolation of their own delusions.  Maybe it's the comfort of maintaining the thinking they are familiar with.  Whatever the reason, the cause has got to be the skillful persuasion, clever manipulation and willful persistence only a con man or used car salesman would apply to those he would want to exploit.