Serving Up The 4th - Academy for Psychic Studies Style

Alice is your new mediator.

I'll give her whatever she wants...

Well, what a hello to the regular week:  had to deal with not one, but two clods who are stirring up trouble in their own way and doing my best to help out the people they affected.  It's interesting that these two situations are on opposite sides of the coast and that they are somewhat flip sides of similar issues.

You won't get details on those situations from me but I will say neither are directly cult-related, although one of them is peripherally related to cult issues.


Anyway, I was actually hoping to tell you about a different situation.  This was a happy situation.  It's pretty much about what we did this Independence Day weekend and some of the thoughts I had during it.

We did a good deal of things this weekend like look out the window and realize some yahoos were using really illegal fireworks in our neighborhood.  The Campbell PD came by to shut them down and that restored a little calm to the area - at least we don't have to worry about them setting the neighborhood on fire tonight.

I will admit, the fireworks they were using were pretty awesome.

A local church - actually the big church a couple of blocks away, held a 4th of July Spectacular at an outdoor concert venue.  They had musical performances, plays, exhibits and a fireworks display about as awesome as the yahoos in our neighborhood were putting on.

OK, so the show was pretty much Velveeta-worthy and the tributes to the USA, our military and our American Way Of Life were themselves cheddar-ific.  But for a evangelical mega-church, you have to admit they did a fantastic job and they included as many of the church members in the show as they could and created a fun event.

It was a big affair - the venue is the kind used for arena rock shows and big events like OzzFest and Lilith Fair.  Lots 'o people came to take in the show.

You saw polite church volunteers everywhere helping people find a seat, making sure the elderly and handicapped were comfortable and basically being welcoming and friendly to their neighbors.

Food and drink vendors were present but most of the audience brought in picnic meals of their own.

The bottom line: this whole thing was free.

Yes, free.

Free fireworks (without the threat of burning down houses or having to answer a misdemeanor charge, like the neighborhood yahoos would), free entertainment and free activities while you wait for the show to start.  This show was open to all, no matter your faith.

Everyone here was here for a good time - even those who were behind the scenes putting on the show.  Actually, I think ESPECIALLY those behind the scenes.

Why is that?  I think it's because that church has a mission to serve the community.  That church is well known here for their commitment to community service, helping those with addiction recovery, helping couples with disabled children have a night to themselves for a change, serving where needed - even helping the neighborhood dispose of the old junk you have lying around.

This is a church who gives back to where they receive their support.  Any wonder why they are so large and why they are well regarded?


During the show Joy asked what I usually did for the 4th - I told her we'd commit arson.  As a kid, I'd spend Independence Day with my grandfather in the Central Valley.  That man, 5 foot nothing and 100 pounds soaking wet, would love that holiday, despite what the nation did to him and his family.  He'd be seen standing with a huge grin on his face holding a tray of TNT, Dynamite, C-4 plastic explosive and a box of sparklers asking "Wanna blow shit up?".

That's one of those "I can't believe I survived that" stories.

After that, of course I got mixed up with a different group of hooligans and malcontents.  These guys carried the books of Rev.William Duby and smacked you across the face with them.

At the Academy, the 4th wasn't about blowing shit up (except for the rose-blowing we were forced to do when we asked to grill hot dogs instead of work).  It wasn't about having a fun day at a park or other venue enjoying a little entertainment.  It for sure wasn't about honoring the birth of our great country.

It was about working your ass off.

How many of us remember not taking the day off and celebrating as we normally would?  How many of us remember how we were assigned (did I say "assigned"?  I meant "agreed with a warm and nourishing attitude",  my bad...)  to perform psychotic readings and healings at county fairs?  How about how we were told to not only pay for our own transportation, we would have to pay for our own food and lodging. How about sleeping in smelly old tents provided by the cult - for the bargain price of $35 a night.  How about sitting in a hot, dry fair hall all day waiting to give a psychotic reading that never came. What about sitting outdoors in 100 degree heat under a barely-enough tarp that seemed to make thing hotter?  What about having to walk the fair in that same 100 degree heat in the middle of the afternoon risking heat stroke and severe sunburn to attract customers for psychotic readings who were smart enough to stay indoors?

That's what the students were told to endure as part of the fun learning experience of their psychotic training.

And if you hadn't agreed to work the county fairs with a warm an nourishing attitude or if you were a male minister, you can have fun in the 100 degree sunshine of the cult leaders' farm in Bethel Island, CA.  You would have the privilege of shoveling manure, tending to animals that will be sold for the leaders' benefit, improving the leaders' living quarters with deluxe A/C and other amenities while you get to stay in an old trailer saturated with dirt from the Delta winds, with no electricity, water, toilet or shower.  No meals either.

There was plenty to do at cult HQ.  The newspaper still needed to be published and the web site needed updating and there were more recordings to be made.  You'll have to spend the night working on all that while maintaining your warm and nourishing attitude.  You'd be happy to work all night too: the web and recordings were produced in the attic, which would become evilly hot on a summer's day.

I remember one 4th weekend I spent at SRF with Joy.  We were sent to a county fair in Northern California (which I won't name just yet).  As the weather was hot enough to cook hot dogs without a grill, we passed on the cult's generous offer of paying them to sleep in a smelly tent on a hot night and being served fried, salt-coated grease for dinner for a comfortable hotel and healthy meals.  I especially enjoyed dining at the CIA at Greystone - oops, that just gave away the location. my bad...

Sure we got a hard time for it.  It was thought we were acting like we were above the hard working followers who chose to sleep in the horse pasture the cult rented and eat the grease balls served on a bed of weeds and flour paste.  They thought we were displaying our own inadequacies by showing the arrogance of staying in a place that didn't smell of horse dung and served healthy meals.

It didn't stop there.  They women of the cult in particular gave Joy and I a hard time because we dared to stand up for ourselves.  They told me to go walk around in the 102 degree heat of a Northern California summer's day.  I told them I was recovering from heart failure and such a walk would pretty much kill me.  That remark caused several stern looks, gritting teeth, faces red with anger and knife sharpening.

Joy got a hard time because she was with me.  They women thought they could get to me through Joy.  As Joy was a bit younger and was my spouse, the women of the cult worked her over to get her to force me to comply with their desires - and those desires were focused on ensuring I was fully subservient to their needs to be honored as spiritually superior and perfect beings while I listen to them tell me all the ways I am a scumbag.

The first night after all that, Joy was up very late angry about what happened.  I was exhausted but stayed up anyway like a good spouse should.

That foul atmosphere and climate of anger was directed at us all weekend.  Why?  It boiled down to our hotel room.  Interestingly, this psychotic church emphasizes "havingness".  "Havingness" was never defined but it appeared to mean you can accept the good things that you have and can enjoy the the good things that come to you - like a cool and comfortable hotel room and healthy meals.

Unfortunately, when you are displaying a "havingness" that is a cut above what the unfortunate faithful of the Academy for Psychic Studies can "have" the faithful display their "havingness" of harassment, hatred, dehumanization and envy right at you.

You really couldn't expect the leaders to come to your aid.  If they noticed, they'd just laugh their collective asses off.  Usually though, someone would complain and you'd end up being debased in front of all the warm and nourishing psychotics who embrace the concept of "havingness" of having your ass kicked.

Of course, the concept of "havingness" extends well past the followers.  Your "havingness" has to be acknowledged to the Supreme Being through a charitable tithe of 10% to 30% of your bounty to the church who told you to give it up.  Since we were told the church is embodied in Angela Silva and Robin Dumolin, you'd better pay them the tithe to thank them for the things you receive.

I think I'll go back and enjoy that cheese-a-rific Independence Day show our local church is putting on.  In fact, I plan to go there every year they have it.

I'll also drop a 20 in their donation bucket every time because 20 bucks given to that church is demonstrably and visibly paid back to the community in spades.

Can you say the same about 20 dollars donated to the Academy for Psychic Studies?