Biblical Perversion

I couldn't have said it better myself...

I've realized something today: Rev. William Duby (the deranged, maniacal founder of the Academy for Psychic Studies) spewed forth many phrases from The Bible in order to display his deep, vast knowledge of scripture.

Unfortunately for Bill Duby (and the Witches of Ellsworth), I've been reviewing those passages for the purpose of deconstruction and to uncover the real, accepted interpretation thereof.

Here is a small list. OK, so it's a really small list. It's only a few - it's all I can remember right now. My memory isn't exactly what it used to be, you know. So, please supplement this brief list with whatever you may have recalled along with the accepted interpretation you uncovered or just give me the scripture along with the interpretation the Witches gave. I'll take it from there.

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Dubyism:
“DON’T LET THE LEFT HAND KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT HAND IS DOING … Realize right now, once you tithe – let go. It is no longer your business or responsibility to monitor the tithe.”

The actual scripture:
Matthew 6:3-4 "But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."

The accepted meaning:
When you are performing charity, give willingly without drawing attention to yourself. Don't hand out money with one hand while waving over people to come see what a great guy you are.

Interestingly, Malachi says to those giving a tithe something like: you'd better be sure you know exactly where that damn money is going.  And don't ever give it to some priests who want to control the money.  Most interpretations say funds given to a church should be closely supervised by representatives of the congregation.

I guess Bill didn't consider that part when he was fleecing us out of all the money we had.  Sorry to say we didn't either.

As interpreted by Bill Duby and the Witches of Ellsworth:

• Secretly talk people out of money and possessions. When caught, quote the above scripture, discredit and dehumanize the guy who discovered you until he loses his marriage and family.
• Pick your victim's pocket while you slap him in the face.
• Let everyone know you just bought a car for someone but don't tell anyone that person has to make the payments.
• Run around crying about you living in poverty then quietly hop in your Cadillac for a shopping spree at Macy's.
• Make people give money to support their farm. Don't say it's actually Robin and Angela's.

Dubyism:
"Follow God's Law and the word of Malachi: Give your tithe to the body of the church (in the form of Angela Silva). Don't rob the storehouse meat."

The actual scripture and accepted meaning:
This takes some explanation. The book of Malachi is used to explain the concept of tithing. While it is not clear that one must give a tithe to his or her church, it's clear that you must not give to the individuals running the church but rather a member-supervised fund used in the name of the church.

It is generally accepted that Malachi is a warning to ministers, not a call for the faithful to empty their pockets. Chapter 2 starts with: "Now you priests, this is for YOU." Then goes on to tell them to stop dipping into the tithes and start spending it on taking care of the congregation.

Any questions? Aww shit, Angela... For the last time, it means: NO you CAN'T pay your fucking AmEx bill with the goddamn tithe! How many times are you going to ask? No! I don't give a shit if Bill said you could.

As interpreted by Bill and the Witches of Ellsworth:

• I have a payment due on my RV and I need money to throw down that toilet I created at Bethel Island, so attend this self-serving lecture on tithing featuring our latest misinterpretation of Malachi and delusional testimonies from brainwashed zombies and GIVE, GIVE, GIVE!
• Pay us so much every year that you can never escape the bottomless pit of debt. Drain your bank account so the leaders can live in the comfort they promised their followers.
• Here's my Macy's bill. You need to pay it.

Dubyism:
"You are not your brother's keeper."

The actual scripture:
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don't know, ”he replied. “Am I my brother's keeper?” (Genesis 4:9) ... and the rest of it goes on to describe how God kicked Cain's ass.

The accepted meaning:
This scripture is intended to show you how inward, unacknowledged responsibility (or "guilt") works in a man and what is gonna happen to him if he doesn't have the balls to stand up. Cain killed his brother and when God asked about it, Cain acted like a tool giving a flippant answer rather than being honest.

It's about lies and who can and cannot get forgiveness. It's all about having the morality to stand up for what's right, not what's convenient. Of course, this doesn't say a damn thing about disclosing your spiritual shortcomings to another person so you can ask forgiveness - you've got to do that with God alone, is what this passage says.

It's all about your personal responsibility to the big guy and how his responsibility to the people of the world flows through you. It is all about standing up and taking on your responsibility to your God and the people on this Earth.

This passage is, in essence, the exact opposite of what Rev. William Duby said it meant. It's all about being honest and responsible to each other and your duty to uphold your responsibility to give spiritual comfort and charity to your fellow man. This passage talks about our own responsibility to each other. It's all about this:

Father, open my eyes that I might see the people around me as people whom You created and whom You have placed in my path for a purpose. Teach me that I am my brother's keeper.

That's one teaching the Right Reverend William Duby, his spiritual wives and the piece of ass he kept on the side have been missing all these years.

Now it's our turn to live up to this passage where Duby and his wives would not.

As interpreted by Bill Duby and the Witches of Ellsworth:

• Make sure everyone approves when you tear someone a new orifice.
• Anyone who is not degraded and demeaned the first time, gets degraded, abused, demeaned, insulted and verbally waterboarded next.
• Anyone who disagrees with you for anything gets waterboarded harder and longer than the first.
• Repeat the above with all your followers every week in Revelations Class.

Dubyism:
"Man is the head of the woman."

The actual scripture:
Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.  I Corinthians 11:3

The accepted meaning:
In the term “the head of the woman is man” head is not used to suggest that the man has control over the woman but “the source of” the woman. 

Because man was created first, the woman derives her existence from man, as man does from Christ and Christ from God. 

In other words, man submits to Christ and Christ to God. When a husband submits to Christ first, a wife should not have any reservations about her husband's faith or spiritual leadership.

It's got not a damn thing to do with keeping your woman in line.  In fact, it's all about men showing their leadership as the head of household in a moral and responsible manner, not in domination but with inspiration.

As interpreted by Bill Duby and the Witches of Ellsworth:

• Tell the men in your "church" to "Whip it out and slap her in the face with it!".  Then, kick their ass when they do exactly as you say.
• Tell your followers "Own your fucking balls!" then run and hide while your wives work your congregation to death.
• Put husbands in SRF Siberia, exile them to decrepit motor homes, exclude them from their spouses and family, debase and humiliate them if they ever even think about an intimate relationship with their wives.
• Kick down the door and rape your spiritual wife on the sofa whenever you want to get some.  Call your male followers dogs, beasts, perverts and rapists if they even share a bed with their wives.
• Let us lie to your spouse so she will come charging at you with a knife in her hand, then submit to our psychotic demands for punishment when we tell you you failed to control her.
• Make your wife spend all her money and most of yours on the leaders because they have luxury cars, high-end motor homes and income properties that need to be kept up.

Dubyism:

"Woman is the body of the church."

The actual scripture:

There is no actual scripture.  This phrase is nowhere to be found outside of Bill's deranged mind - and that makes it suspect right there.

The accepted meaning:

Well, I think we can all say it meant something less than Bill intended as it appears no where in scripture nor does any other church accept this doctrine.

As interpreted by Bill Duby and the Witches of Ellsworth:

• As one of Bill's sister wives, I am entitled to be head of this "church".
• As the body of the church, I need to be fed.  Hand over your wallet.
• Don't ask where your money is going.  We took it from you, so it's ours now and you'd better not miss a payment.
• As the body of the church, when you say I am doing something wrong, you would be insulting the church, God, and Jesus Christ himself.  So shut the fuck up and give us your money.
• As the body of the church, why would we want to share anything with anyone - even our bobble-head puppet?

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In a time and place of strange interpretations of the Bible and oddball preachers, this guy takes the cake.  I've never seen anyone twist and pervert the Bible quite the way Bill Duby has.  Unfortunately, he may not be the last. But fortunately, the remaining leaders of SRF seem too dumb, uninterested or scatter-brained to create any Dubyisms of their own.

Please feel free to add your own Dubyisms. I'd love to hear the result of your own research into them.

The Academy for Psychic Studies - Heywood Jablowme

I was going to leave a comment on Psychdoctorate's blog on BPI, but it was too damn long to post as a comment.  So, I'm going to make you all read it instead.  Don't worry - it's still about the Academy for Psychic Studies and the Witches of Ellsworth Street.

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I also operate a blog about a similar organization founded by BPI graduates.  This organization is located just blocks away from BPI HQ and has been in business for decades.

This organization (the Spiritual Rights Foundation or Academy for Psychic Studies) is notorious for mistreating its followers, taking their money and property through deception and extortion, driving several to suicide attempts (one person managed to blow his brains out), destroying families and marriages as well as conducting illegal schemes such as "leasing" cars to their followers without having a car dealer's license, sequestering and isolating their followers in cult housing (which is a for-profit enterprise) so followers would use their time off to work for the cult for free, give away a third of their already meager wages and pay even more for the privilege of just walking through the cult's wrought iron gate.

They also made sure the followers praised the cult in public at every opportunity (which thankfully wasn't often).  The leaders never cared (or more likely - noticed) the followers were becoming so socially inept from all the isolation and incestuous arranged relationships, their message sounded like the brainwashed zombies they claimed they were not.

While I pointed out these abuses and outright fraud, I was excoriated by the membership as the most heinous criminal in the history of criminal behavior who told lies about their warm and nourishing cult.

It didn't take long before those same enraged members walked out the wrought iron gate of the cult compound even more enraged than before they heard of my blog.  They would say to anyone who would listen they were tired of losing their money to deception and extortion.  They were aghast at the cult's interference with their marriage and families.  They were absolutely pissed off at the leaders practice of isolating them from friends and family and making relentless demands for more work, more money and more public tribute to the cult.

Hey, maybe the departed culties were writing in my blog all along!

Now that the Spiritual Rights Foundation has imploded and is said to have a gargantuan membership of THREE, I would bet a certain blog has been key in inspiring the many former members to take a step into the world and make that day the first day of their free lives.  Well, probably not.  We all know it's the fucking Witches' fault.  After all, no recently departed follower would have dared to read this blog under penalty of a spiritual death at the hands of the Witches of Ellsworth Street but they all were sitting under a Sword of Damocles with Angela Silva standing ready to slice that single hair whenever the mood struck her.

The detached and hostile manner Angela Silva and Robin Dumolin displayed whenever they dealt with the people they depended on, the people who built the spiritual cesspool with the sweat of their brow and the blood in their veins should have been the tip-off we needed to know we were dealing with two deranged persons.  That head psychotic, however, elevated them to the level of saints and scholars then reinforced it daily by singling out one person who had an imaginary "problem" with the Witches.  That person was soon dragged in front of the followers for a public flogging before his or her conviction by the SRF Kangaroo Kourt.

After purging the ranks of all malcontents and slackers, the Witches have found themselves with only the most weary and physically unable of their flock.  All that fighting to maintain the evil practices of their cult and continue their ride on the Gravy Train has left them with far less than if they just left things alone and supported their followers' attempts to keep the place alive.

Even with the Spiritual Rights Foundation on the ropes and gasping for air, I still get an idiot here and there who cares enough to tell me I am wrong about the goings-on there and because of my "psychic attacks" I will suffer the consequences.  Some comments are from former members, some from current members (well they were current at the time) and a few from members of the public who took a class here and there - which made them experts on how the SRF inner circle operated.  Still, their slanted and uninformed viewpoint didn't stop them from saying I will face spiritual retribution.

Well, if that retribution involves a marriage with a woman I want to grow old with, using my income for the support of my family, spending my free time to socialize with friends as well as maintain my family ties, I guess it's a form of suffering I can certainly endure.

As the Psychdoctorate has been tasting the sweet fruit of his own freedom, he has utilized his First Amendment rights to write his blog and he has taken the tall responsibility to inform the public of the practices that go on behind the curtain.

Psychdoctorate has demonstrated so very well a human quality I have found rare in our society and absent among those who affiliate with a cult:  the courage to speak his mind and the responsibility to act in the defense of those he may never meet.  Those qualities are extraordinarily rare among ex-culites as well.  So many ex-SRF-ies still turn and walk the other way if they see the wrong ex-member downtown.  I know of many of them who complain mightily when no one is looking but refuse to say anything was wrong if asked.  So, seeing the Psychdoctorate do more than complain is not only heartening, it's a public service.

I'll look forward to seeing more of his blog but I'll be even happier to see his blog will no longer be necessary.

So those of you who would want to vent your own frustrations on me in the same manner as "Anonymous" (in a previous post) may contact my Cult Relationship Manager "Heywood Jablowme" or my Vice President of Cult Communications "Helen Waite"  If you are a cult member offended by what's written here and want a personal answer from me, go to Helen Waite.

 She's NOT Helen Waite

Neither is she.

 

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Hey, I heard Robin is dating again!

...and she still doesn't do laundry.

Here's a crazy story:

Once while I was assigned to "house control" (basically spending the day tasked with answering phone calls and waving one's hands around in the apparent attempt at "controlling" the energy in the building) I fielded a phone call from a High School student who was interested in psychic issues and asked about the "Healing Clinic". He also asked if he could film the "clinic". My reply was that he was welcome to attend the "clinic" but we can't allow filming in respect for the privacy of the attendees. Pretty reasonable, I figured.

The student accepted that information and I proceeded to give him the time and location of the "clinic".

The next morning (a Saturday), Robin Dumolin called me at my home at the crack of dawn (which pissed me off) demanding to know what in hell I told the High School student. I repeated what I told the student and added that response was measured, reasonable and responsible.

Robin's reaction was totally unexpected (actually it was perfectly in character for Robin): she went on to say she heard (from unnamed sources) that the teen child of a former member was running around in their High School talking about the Academy for Psychic Studies and that certain of her fellow students were conspiring to film a 60 Minutes type of investigative report for a school project and what in hell was I doing letting some asshole kid come in to the sacred territory of the Academy for Psychic Studies with a goddamn camera?

Uh, didn't I make it clear that no filming or recording would be allowed to respect the privacy of the attendees?

And from what I was hearing, I figured the "teen child of a former member" was not the source. Judging from what was said and my experience with other "factual Academy rumors", I believed the source was probably a current member who said they heard from someone who may have been associated with another teen who may be familiar with the person in question that something possibly nefarious may be brewing from an unknown teen who is hell bent on exposing the odd behavior at the Academy for Psychic Studies because other disgruntled members have children the same age.

OK. That makes sense, doesn't it? But that is pretty close to her description of the chain of reasoning. Robin was always the rational one...

I had to calm her down (which is pretty much not possible when Robin is on a tear) but gave up and told her I said all I could and I was late for my Jell-O mold class or something like that and hung up the phone.

That was in early 2006 when I was one foot out the door. That incident was just one more item in a growing list of idiotic behavior that pushed me right out of there.

Now does that little incident give you a picture of the paranoia, the impulsive action and reliance on rumor in the place of facts and information give you a picture of how the Academy for Psychic Studies operated behind the scenes?

I thought the Academy for Psychic Studies was just another badly run non-profit. The more I recall and reflect upon, the more I realize how much worse it was than that.

That reliance on rumor as fact, the constant paranoia of being seen in the public while being totally reliant on public interest for the growth and sustenance of the organization as well as the abusive, accusatory manner in which members of the Academy for Psychic Studies were treated was just too much.

I knew at that moment, there may be little to hold me back from the evil clutches of the Witches of Ellsworth. But, a hope of staying still existed. I hung on to the hope things would improve. Then Angela lit the fuse saying "Sell the goddamn house!" and of course, give her a 10% tithe on the proceeds when it was sold as well as another 10% tithe on whatever is left every year after that.  In exchange for my tithe, I can expect to receive even more idiotic behavior from the Witches of Ellsworth Street as well as dehumanizing, demeaning and abusive treatment from them whenever I balked at giving them even more money.

So, I got tired of constantly owing them for services that were not only worthless but appeared to have only one purpose: to keep me indentured to Witches for a lifetime of submission.

Maybe I do owe Robin and Angela some kind of kudos. Maybe I should thank them. Maybe I should elevate them to the stratospheric heights of near-deities as Bill Duby insisted we should.

Yeah, I do owe them! Thanks Angela and Robin! Through your stupid behavior, you two have unwittingly opened the floodgates on the reservoir of deceit, abuse and exploitation hidden behind a dam of fear and shame. You have made this blog and the courageous testimony of so many others exposing those abusive and bizarre practices possible.

And thanks for suing Joy and me. It gave us a chance to roll up your "lawsuit" and boff you on the nose with it, sending you into the basement with your tail between your legs. Thanks for paying our attorney fees as well. It was indeed satisfying to whap you with your own paper and have you pay us to do it.

Pleasure doing business with you, girls!

The Academy for Psychic Studies - I don't know what to title this damn post so I'll just leave it blank.

I am often asked how a cult like the Academy for Psychic Studies can keep people under control for so long.  I'm also told that only the weak-minded, skill-less, gullible and utterly stupid are the only victims of cults like the Academy for Psychic Studies.

Well I can tell you: those opinions are so utterly wrong it would take me a year to explain all the ways it is wrong.

That's not just my two cent opinion.  Researchers in the cult field have said time and again that cults do not want drooling idiots as their followers.  In order to be worthy of their imprisonment, you have to bring some value to them.  Computer skills, networking and engineering skills, construction or business skills - even high level skills such as legal or medical training are are desired by the cult.

The Academy for Psychic Studies/Spiritual Rights Foundation is no exception.

They drag you in over time and isolate you completely.  Soon, you find yourself living in Spiritual Rights Foundation/Academy for Psychic Studies housing, eating Academy/SRF food, taking trips approved by the Academy/SRF and doing only those activities approved by the leaders.

Those who they want under their total control are "rewarded" with the illusion of status and a tenuous hold on influence - influence that really does nothing and influences no one.  But it makes you feel good and that's what SRF is all about, right?  (see, that's not a lie.  Even SRF likes me to say their activities make people feel good.)

The comment below comes from an Anonymous writer.  This writer speaks of a member of the SRF Board of Directors who faced a health issue.  Despite this member's need for recovery, she was worked hard anyway.  Says the writer, this member, while physically unable to conduct the full duties directed by the leaders, soldiered on not because of loyalty but because of the hold the leaders have on her living situation and presumably her sense of security and self-image.

Anonymous said...A little birdy said that one of the board of directors had major surgery and the cult leaders insisted she keep on working for them for free even though she was working full time to pay for her medical expenses this woman still defends them because she is afraid of getting thrownout on the street by the benevelont cult which is also her landlord, this is my opinion as it is the only way to explain this. this horrible situation is commonplace for cult members in my opinion.
March 20, 2011 5:56 PM

The Academy for Psychic Studies says to their prospective victims the exploitation and abuse we write about have all happened in the past.  We are said to be the ones who are abusive and exploitative by bringing out the truth and telling our side of the Academy for Psychic Studies story.

We who tell our stories say otherwise - that the abuses of the past are continuing from the present day to a time in the future.  That is a time we all hope will be near rather than far.

The Anonymous writer speaks of a situation where the writer has seen the evidence and witnessed the behavior and has drawn a conclusion based on those real-world events.

Yet, the Academy for Psychic Studies would demonize this person as the writer's conclusion is not warm and nourishing to the tarnished image of the Academy and the writer would be publicly flogged after conviction by the SRF Kangaroo Kourt.

That's the price we all paid for seeing, speaking and living out the truth.

While we didn't give in, there are some who have.  A few of them still associate with the Spiritual Rights Foundation/Academy for Psychic Studies.  Many have left this worthless organization.

The reason those who gave in do so is simple: fear.

The Academy may throw you out of your housing.  They have done that many times for transgressions so minor, you would not believe it.

The Academy threatens the relationship between parent and child; husband and wife or anyone else for that matter.  Whatever your relationship to someone, the Academy will intervene themselves or through a proxy to disrupt the relationship and create hostility between formally-friendly people.

There are so many who are out of the cult who still fear it I cannot believe this vacuous cult who can't walk in a straight line and certainly cannot maintain even their simple operations has this kind of influence.

But they do, in fact, it is the one thing they do amazingly well.

It's not a church of peace and harmony.  It's a cult of hate.  The Academy for Psychic Studies fears and hates the world.   We who have been there know it - that is what we were told by the leaders.  And those of us who have left have encountered nothing but hatred for all.  There is even hate for those who left in peace and have wished the Academy well.  We know that too.  We have seen how otherwise quiet, friendly and cordial people were not just brushed aside when they left but were excoriated for several (usually imaginary) violations of the cult energy.

At least if you leave, you won't have to deal with the cult leaders trashing your reputation and presenting imaginary things about you.  If you lived there, the leaders have an iron grip on your living and even your life.  If you want to continue living, you have to toe the line.  Cross over it and you'll find yourself walking the plank.

Getting Your Attack On at the Academy for Psychic Studies

This is what Helen Mirren did when Angela told

her to tithe her film wages.

Admit it, Helen Mirren with a gun is HOT.

...and Angela, don't even try to touch

Betty White's Golden Girls wages.

We've all been through the Academy for Psychic Studies' warm and nourishing healing programs where we were all screamed at for hours and insulted with every kind of personal, cultural, ethnic, gender and fashion slurs, insults and abuse.

In fact, there is hardly a person who has survived the Academy's reign of abuse who managed to duck the swinging blade of healing dispensed by the spiritual leaders Angela Silva and Robin Dumolin.  One guy only found peace and quiet after he blew his brains out with a shotgun.  The rest of us had to get the fuck out of Dodge and had to put up with Angela's goon coming around to harass us for money even after we made it to the free world.

But the inspiration for all this spiritual harassment, the warm and nourishing attacks on your character, the corruption of your family ties, the ruin and destruction of your personal morals and values (the same morals and values that lay the foundation for a stable and civilized society) had to come from only the most  divine, holy and spiritual sources, wouldn't it?

Such loving and caring people like Angela Silva, Robin Dumolin and the founding psychotic Rev. Bill Duby would only use the kinds of spiritual techniques and teachings that are in the best interest and higher good of their followers, wouldn't they?

Yeah.  Just like Mayor Quan wants to keep the occupy-ers safe by covering them with tear gas and heaving grenades at them. (BTW: I just heard she's being called "Flipper" for her flip-flopping ways.)

I was surfing around the interweb and ran across something interesting.  It was something called "attack therapy".  Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia:

Attack therapy is a controversial type of psychotherapy... It involves highly confrontational interaction between the patient and a therapist, or between the patient and fellow patients during group therapy, in which the patient may be verbally abused, denounced, or humiliated by the therapist or other members of the group.

Maia Szalavitz writes that attack therapy can include the tactics of isolation, and rigid imposition of rules, which later leads to a restoration of limited permissive freedom, and an acknowledgement of those that did comply with the strict rules.

A study of group therapy in over 200 normal college students conducted by Yalom and Lieberman found that 9.1% of the students who completed over half of a series of "encounter groups" using attack therapy had psychological damage lasting at least six months. The most dangerous groups were the Synanon-style groups with a harsh, authoritarian leader.

Synanon was a drug rehabilitation center that later reorganized as a church.  It was led by a man named Chuck Dederich who harassed ex-members, current members and anyone else he disagreed with.  Mr. Dederich's associates placed a rattlesnake in the mailbox of an attorney who filed suit against Synanon.  The attorney was bitten and lost much of the use of one hand.

Judging from his print missive "Faith Under Fire" Rev. Bill Duby harbors the same kind of animosity for his ex-members as Mr. Dederich - but that's in the past as God dropped the hammer on Bill's ass in 2001 (making this December the tenth anniversary of Bill's timely departure - I say we throw a party).

Now, draw your own parallels between Synanon and the Academy.

I have.  Synanon has something called "the game" where recovering addicts gather to single out an individual to insult, demean and otherwise dehumanize him or her.  To what effect and for what reason is not really clear to me. At times, the leaders will jump in to intensify the game and throw a few kicks to the gonads themselves.  It's pretty close to the kind of things "Dr. Phil" does on his talk show but much more intense (which I know sounds impossible, but trust me - I've seen "the game" it is intense).

In a more naive time, I volunteered to teach drug addicts computer skills.  I usually arrived with an armload of software, computers, hardware and accessories every time I went there.  It was great to see guys come off the streets and get off drugs.

This rehab center used the same things Synanon and Delancy Street used.  I watched them engage in "the game".  I was glad I was only watching.  One woman got jumped by several of her peers and a leader or two for things I didn't really understand.  She responded as you might expect - like a cornered animal.

Fast forward to my even stupider time where the con man and his two witches kept me confined in their stable of warmth and nourishment.  It didn't take long for the stable to start looking more and more like San Quentin and the happy and helpful faces to greet you with a scowl.

The psychic readings were the main venue for people to vent their scorn on another.  I remember many where various members vented their frustration with me in a psychic reading for things so petty (like Joy and I staying in a hotel rather than in a stinking tent pitched in a stinking field or that we dared to take a little va-ca to Disneyland) I wondered what the hell was on these people's minds.

Well, I don't wonder what was in their minds - I wonder what's left of it.  Many still seem to operate as they have in the cult, blaming everyone else for all the things they need to overcome.  So many of the ugly and frightful things  they "saw" made no damn sense or more commonly, were concocted from tidbits of information they gleaned from their seemingly friendly conversations with you.  It's the same kind of trickery used by con artists and used car salesmen.

No matter what the reason, psychic readings gave the hapless followers a venue to make someone else feel even worse then themselves.  If you are familiar with the term "shit rolls downhill" you can figure out the sequence of events that led to the followers ripping at each other in a psychic attack set in the closed environment of the Academy for Psychic Studies compound.

When you want to receive a psychotic reading, don't let me stop you.  In fact, if you are of the bent to get one from the Academy, there's nothing I can say to stop you.  However if you have a curiosity about what those readings are all about when you are past the "just take their money" stage, you might just find that the readers are seeing in your own psychic space all the things they loathe about themselves and that they are seeing shortcomings in all the things you have they can never possess.

So if you have a happy family, a few psychic readings where the readers scowl and snarl at your "unhealthy" connection to you loved ones will cure you of your familial bonds.  I mean, just ask a particular Academy for Psychic Studies couple when they last saw their families.  Their peers went after them again an again until those bonds were corrupted.

If you have a great career, stick around so the psychotic readers can tell you how bad your employers are and how you are giving your soul away for the vain and selfish goals of security, fulfillment and a comfortable life for you and your family.

If your education is advanced or if you seek to pursue the higher learning appropriate to your skills and interest, have a psychotic reading from your peers (or better yet - a leader) so you can feel so discouraged and defeated from your fruitless effort, you'll quit school a couple of quarters away from your Master's degree to take up housecleaning to pay your student loans.

Just so you won't have nightmares or your PTSD won't be triggered, I'll quote one of the more mild "healing" attack sessions described in Steve Sanchez's book: Spiritual Perversion

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I was in a state of devastation. I was at once like a raw wound and numb from excess pain and stress. I was enraged and felt helpless. Everything he said felt like arrows of injustice, but at the same time, I was absorbing it and at least partially believed it.

We milled about the Academy for a bit. I was like a lame, numb duck walking around. Everyone looked at me like I had the plague. The guys had something to eat. **** and **** received some more instructions from Rev. Bill, and we went over to Russell Street. I desperately felt a need to eat some protein to help ground my hypersensitive nervous system. I dreaded every second of what was coming.

They all found seats in the narrow living room. I stood at one end near the next room, because it would be easier to walk out from there.

****** had a contemptuous, agitated look on his face. 

***** seemed to consider himself the director of the proceedings since Rev. Bill had given him instructions. He took a deep, loud breath and looked up as if it pained him and said, “Well, Rev. Bill says you need some brothers right now, Steve, so that’s why we’re here. You know we are all dogs here. I think everyone here has been through this before, except maybe ******. 

Rev. Bill says it’s our job as brothers to try and get through to you. The first thing I see is that you have a hard time bonding with other men. You were always in competition with your father and brothers and you can’t seem to let go of that, so you can’t bond with other men. You always have to be one up. So the real problem now is you are in competition with Rev. Bill, and that will ruin you. You have to get out of competition with him if you are going to make it. We’ve all been there. Linda loves him because he gave her the light. He got there first. It’s like Rev. Bill says, if Jesus Christ walked into a room with men and women in it, the women would instantly fall in love with Him and the men would all go into competition with Him. You just got to get over it man.”

I could barely tolerate standing there; I wanted to end it as quickly as possible. I said, “Okay, that makes sense. I see what you are saying.” I wanted to diffuse conflict. I was attempting to be a good soldier of the teaching by not resisting or competing with what they were saying. According to the teaching, “you become what you resist” and “competition shuts down your psychic abilities.”

****** said, “I have to let you know I have to report back to Rev. Bill whether or not you got the healing.”

***** jumped in. He had obviously wanted to say something for a while, “Yeah, and you clearly haven’t changed your attitude, motherfucker. The problem is, you are making it bad for all of us men, so don’t shuck us off. You’re making us all look bad, so the women won’t trust any of us. You know how Rev. Bill says the women go blind when they’re upset and shoot with a shot gun blast instead of a rifle shot? That’s what they are doing now. On a psychic plane they are whacking all of us, motherfucker, not just you. We all feel it.”
Wrong or right, what he said made me feel guilty.

***** went on saying stuff he’d heard from Rev. Bill. Then **** spoke up. He said, “I’ve seen you several times trying to go upstairs, Steve. On spirit patrol we see your energy on the second floor all the time. I live up there; it causes me problems as a male, kinda-kinda like ***** said. The women are always on edge, and they g-get on me f-for every little thing. Every time we do spirit patrol we see your energy… on the second floor. You are causing me a lot of problems, and I-I don’t like it.” He stared at me with his brows furrowed, at once expecting me to react and challenging me to fight back, in which case he clearly world have escalated the conflict. 

I was tempted to react in anger for a moment, but I knew his pattern too well. I sensed he was talking to the ghost of his brother, not me.

Periodically ***** posed the question as to whether I had changed my attitude. I tried to show I was cooperating and changing my attitude, but it didn’t come natural. They kept voting down that I had made any internal change.

***** said, “I guess you just don’t want to hear what we are saying, Steve. ********’s talking about the energy behind it. Rev. Bill has also told you many times, it’s about time to hang up the cleats. What do you think he means by that?”

This sort of thing went on for some time, and then the phone rang. ***** answered. We could all tell by his manner that it was Rev. Bill on the other end. “Okay… Yes, we are working on it. I think he’s trying, you now, it’s hard… Yeah, his attitude… No, it’s not really changing…” 

========================

Believe it or not, the men were somewhat more restrained in their attack sessions.  Bill Duby and the Witches of Ellsworth Street demanded the women be subjected to some of the most intense attacks seen since "Shock and Awe".  I described a few in earlier posts.  Instead of writing them again, I'll just say the term "bitch" could have been complimentary compared to the things said to the women of the Academy.

While this kind of attack therapy has its origins in a discredited drug rehab group and appears to be generally rejected by the mental health care profession, it seems to be common among places like the Academy for Psychic Studies, EST, Landmark Education (which I guess is the same as EST), Scientology and so many others where being called an "asshole" is commonplace.

It must say something, then, when those who want to manipulate people start using the things honest people find abhorrent.

What is this all about?

This article was originally posted January 3, 2009.

========================================

I just realized that I've been writing this blog for a while now. Not quite a year. On the other hand, it's only been two months since this blog has become publicly visible.

It's been quite a couple of months. Thousands of page views have taken place. Up until then, the only page views were my own. I had only one comment left by a guy looking for something completely different and stumbled upon my blog by accident.

In these last two months, we have reconnected with some great people, which has made this past holiday season one of the best I can remember.

And the news that this year, many individuals have found their own freedom and independence from the chains of false prophets is icing on the cake.

But one thing has been on my mind. It's that one comment I heard just the other day:

"...you have really got to get a life and get over being at this place. Really, you have been through hell and back, but why keep this up, groaning on an on about what happened to you? Forgive and forget might be something of an impossibility for you people..."

OK, so let's say we have been groaning for the last two months.

Two months?

Our group of ex-cultists have been, on average, involved with the Spiritual Rights Foundation for a decade.

A decade.

Some for much longer than that. In that decade, much happened. Much more than I can explain here and much more than we have disclosed on this blog.

Our lives were centered around SRF - so much so, that many of us participating here lived in church owned housing. We drove cars that the church insisted we buy (and few of us could afford). We wore clothes that were similar in appearance and style. We ate the same foods. We acquired the same interests and tastes.

We have seen happy couples married at the direction of the leadership and bitter, contentious divorces arise when they were abruptly separated by the leadership.

We saw how the leaders, without good reason or judgement and certainly without restraint, take another man's young child, put him (or her) in a hypnotic trance for the purpose of encouraging and demanding that the child become emotionally detached from his father's love. When the deed was done, the child was held up as an example of the miracle of trance and as the result of the spiritual wisdom and psychic skills of the leaders.

We saw fabricated situations of healing and miraculous change. We saw how the leadership will take credit when a health or financial situation naturally resolved in a positive way and we saw how they blamed their followers if it did not.

We saw how a man could be beaten down day by day by the leaders. We saw how they will criticize, demean, insult and debase him until he had no self-respect. We saw how one such member committed suicide.

We saw how a man's spouse would be sexually harassed by the leader. We saw women's breasts fondled in full view of their spouse and asked who's dick she would like to suck.

We saw children go without food so their parents can pay the leaders for enlightenment and wisdom and saw children work at an SRF farm during winter without warm clothes, without boots to protect their feet, without a raincoat to keep them dry.

We saw children lose their parents. We saw parents lose their spouses. And we saw it was the leaders who made those separations possible.

We saw children denied an education (stalling in their development) so they may remain untouched by the world's influence and we saw them flourish when the California Superior Court ordered their return to school.

We sat all night and listened as the leaders kept us entranced with fanciful stories of God, spirit, the workings of the spirit world. And we returned expecting more, deeper revelations but received more of the same.

We sat frozen in fear as the leaders surrounded a member, man or woman, scream as loud as humanly possible, spit flying from their mouths angry at a minor or imagined infraction.

And we stayed while each of us were paraded in front of the group for humiliation, a sort of psychic perp walk.

Since all of us were perp walked for various infractions ranging from minor and inconsequential to hallucinatory, we need the opportunity to disclose and release.

So, if people here express themselves, their outrage, their pain, their need to release the humiliation, then I guess that's what this blog is all about.

And it's going to take more than two months to "get over" a decade of what we saw and experienced.

For once, the ex-members of the Spiritual Rights Foundation have a place (even as humble as this blog) that is truly for them. Truly available for them to express in a manner they require. Truly centered around them and for them. Truly centered around the truth. And truly one they deserve.

There are no fees, no expensive classes, no gurus, no one to tell you to shut up when you need to speak. This blog observes the First Amendment and all who care to participate will have a voice.

Everyone is welcome to participate and speak as they see fit.

All I ask is that the discussion stay on topic and that we don't flame or insult each other. And that you remember that comments may be posted for discussion among the readers.

I notice the above commenter is quite the fan of this blog, with several page views daily. That's great. The news and commentary offered here is the perspective that person needs, I think.

I also thought the full comment that person left could be considered a flame. But after some thought, I realized this person was saying what we all would have liked to say and was able to say what he or she said in a forum that allows and encourages that expression. The comment stays.

I'm glad she never saw any of what we saw. No one should be witness to that kind of madness.

In this forum, we have the life of freedom we wanted for over a decade. We have the opportunity to communicate we needed for over a decade.

We got our new life. The life we wanted - the life of freedom.

And our commenter above may have that as well, with my complements.

Just keep our pledge in mind intrepid commenter: "For all the things I may have done to you, I ask your forgiveness. For all the things you may have done to me, you have my forgiveness."

Would you join us in taking that pledge?

I Can't Stand It

but I'll have to live with it.

So the last couple of weeks, I've been reviewing some of the documents related to the SLAPP suit we defeated and succeed in re-introducing it into the Witch-ly orifices it came from.


A component of a legal motion or pleading is something called a "Declaration".  A declaration is simply a statement from a person with standing in the lawsuit.  In our defense, both Joy and I made declarations that clarified our stated positions and the purposes for creating our respective blogs.


The Witches of Ellsworth, of course, knew there is always a good reason to copy something that works.  So, they attempted the same damn thing in their opposition to our demand (and the State of California's legal requirement) to pay of cost of defending their SLAPP suit.


No surprise, the attempt failed.  First of all, they got the two adult children of the now ex-bishop to sign contrived statements of outrage over our blogs and the truthful events we reveal.  Second, the Witches themselves made a statement expressing their desire to avoid litigation as such forgiveness is an integral part of their warm and nourishing teachings.


Well now... just a quick deconstruct and analysis of all this leads to a simple conclusion:  the  Witches of Ellsworth will use anyone they can as a pawn to advance their perverted agenda (evidenced by the statements signed by the ex-bishop's children) and they will conveniently re-interpret history to suit their needs.  These habits have been going on for so damn long, I think it's considered normal behavior to those gnarled and otherwise dried-up parts of anatomy.


As the opposition to attorney fees is related to, well, attorney fees, statements of outrage over anything we may or may not have said is not only irrelevant, the children of the ex-bishop were never a party to the SLAPP suit in the first place (they were referenced in the original suit as people who's degrading, profane and threatening comments directed primarily at Joy were obviously so warm and nourishing there was no reason for anyone to have removed those comments from YouTube, where they were posted and that neither young woman should have been banned as threats to personal safety are allowable if made towards ex-members of the SRF cult).


As for the witches' declaration, you can see for yourself.  Basically, their claim is that while  their "members" should be allowed to post on this blog, your blog and anyone else's blog for any reason (that is not true, by the way), they should not be responsible for having lost the lawsuit they filed because they didn't want to file it and they forgave you and me a long time ago before they filed their lawsuit.


Wow, so when they filed their suit against me, Joy, and the 99 John Does who read, comment and otherwise participate in this blog, they really didn't mean it.


Makes sense to me.  If it makes sense to you, let me know and we can play a nice game of Three Card Monty.


The Witches demanded Joy and I give up the names of all who read and comment on this blog - especially the Anonymous commenters.


Now Anonymous commentators don't have a name.  I wonder how I'd manage that?

However if we lost, we would have given our best guess of who those people were and worse, who we think was reading.  It was an unreasonable demand (as many all demands of the Witches are) and the disclosure of the identities of who might be reading or commenting was a huge reason I wanted to fight them and fight hard.


Our attorney is brilliant and I will engage him again if the Witches decide to stir the cauldron again.  I have the sense they never will, though.


While it is likely the Witches will not go after me again, that's not to say they won't try to sue or otherwise intimidate anyone else.


The Witches have always counted on intimidating and browbeating their victims into submission.  Actually, they assumed their victims were submissive and fearful in the first place.  And the victims were - until they took me on.


I'm not the only one who grew a pair and made the brave move: one of the more recent escapees found his car damaged, his living quarters looted and daily and relentless intimidation taking place as he was making a transition out of the iron gated compound.  He took the bold step of making police reports and naming names to law enforcement.  No arrests were made but the important step of making the daily practices of lawlessness, harassment and intimidation visible to the police will begin a record of the aggressive and unwarranted pressure that was ever-present at the Academy.




I am proud to hear of people who have taken the bull by the horns and wrestled it to exhaustion.  These heroes are truly survivors of the vile and worthless cult we call the Academy for Psychic Studies.


How about the rest of the escapees?


You've probably noticed: I speak a lot about disclosure of that cult experience.  I say you have to talk to someone or that experience will come back to haunt you in a very big way, usually when you don't expect it.  You don't have to speak to anyone you know or anyone you have shared that experience with - but do speak with someone.  You have to make sense of it all before the volcano of frustration explodes.


How about it?  Are you still "running energy", "blowing roses", "letting it go", "staying neutral", or any of the other nutty practices used to keep us in compliance with that despotic and crazy regime?

Those are the things that keep the mind numb.  You know that.  Those practices were misused to keep us right where the Witches wanted us - with their gnarled fingers deep in our pockets.


I am tempted to thrust my fist deep into one of the Witches', uh, pockets but it would ruin my manicure and who knows what disease I'd catch.




At any rate, the fear and submission the Witches counted on while we were under their evil spell is what they count on as we depart.  When we relate our true and accurate experiences at the cult, they revise history and tell the faithful few just how we ex-members have adopted the ways of the world and are now wallowing in evil and delusion.


To that, you know what I'd say: HE WHO SMELT IT, DEALT IT! (the evil and delusion part)

The Final Countdown

It's The Worst Hair Band Ever!

The clock is ticking and the final countdown to the end of the Academy for Psychic Studies seems to be near.  How near is anyone's guess but I think it's in sight.

If what we are hearing is true - the few who had formed a bond with the ex-bishop left soon after she did and one of the most weary and one of the most defeated decided to stick it out with one of the most psychotic members, there's hardly enough people to sweep the floors and lick Robin's shoes clean much less operate a psychic church like this one.

Who would like to make a prediction on how much longer it will take for them to go away for good?

Can they last for years?  Months?

Any guesses on who left the cult?  A call on who might remain?

My guess:  *S*, *R*, *R*  How you interpret that is up to you.  However, I will say I believe like you that those three probably didn't leave.

As the Academy for Psychic Studies points to me as the source of the calamity that befalls them, I have to wonder what in the fuck did I do to cause said travails?

Well, as this blog has been declared by the Superior Court of California as a legal and protected expression of Free Speech, I'm not involved in any libelous or defamatory activity.

I haven't nor will I ever conduct any kind of vandalism on their properties nor will I engage or condone any violence directed on a person affiliated with the Academy (necessary force used in the defense of self or of the safety of another is excepted, of course).

Well, maybe it's something that's not illegal.

Maybe it happens to be a psychic attack?

A psychic attack from moi?  Well it's doubtful I would have the requisite psychic power to conduct a successful psychic attack.  When the Witches admonish their faithful few that a scumbag like me has lost his psychic abilities and said psychic impotence allows the followers to increase their psychic strength, even they have to believe I haven't any powers on that level.

Besides, that psychic crap is nothing but, well, crap.  At least, to me it is.

But if you do believe it's real, think of the current situation.  I'm not a psychic threat and my feeble efforts on the material level are no match for the psychotic power of Academy for Psychic Studies.  There are others who are fresher to the taste of freedom, newer to the clean and invigorating smell of independence.  And they, presumably, are so new to the outside world they haven't lost a psychic thing.  And they're pissed off.

So if you do believe there is psychic power to be used towards the destruction of the Witches of Ellsworth Street and the Academy for Psychic Studies, you have to believe I don't have them but you can believe the people who decided to pull the ripcord recently, do.

As they have continued to deny their own responsibility in the Academy's meltdown, as they shift blame from themselves to whoever happens to be standing there, Angela Silva and Robin Dumolin have unwittingly been sowing the seeds of their own downfall.

Let's hope when they land, they hit pavement.

And as the Academy is trying to erase their past by ignoring it, I'll add the following pictures just to remind everyone what the psychotic who started this mess looks like:

 the DEAD Rev. Bill Duby

A couple of quick hits

I took this shot of Joy when Angela Silva sued us.

Now if I can just get my damn rifle back from her...

Those of us who endured life in the spiritually superior tenement ghetto operated by Angela Silva and Robin Dumolin know the conditions there were less than heavenly.  In fact, it could be downright brutal at times, dodging the bullets fired from gang member's cheap Chinese guns and putting up with the strange proclivities of the Spiritual Rights Foundation elite confinement center. 

One of the former residents there wasn't a member of this wacky cult.  She wasn't even really seen as a member of the human race - which, I guess means Angela and Robin saw her just like they see the cult members.

Anyway, this resident was disabled and entitled to Social Security Section 8 housing assistance.  Under that program, the Social Security Agency will pay for her housing as long as that housing meets certain requirements - like it's got to be at least free from vermin and in decent (but not perfect) repair.

While this resident had odd personality traits that made her a hell of a lot more interesting at a distance - a long distance, than in a one-on-one conversation, she was still entitled to a decent, vermin-free, safe and reasonably comfortable apartment by federal law and common human decency.

Well, in Angela Silva's book: "perverse and inhuman things I should get away with because I want to, so go fuck yourself if you think I'm being cruel", page one reads: "No matter what kind of evil shit I make you endure, keep your goddamn mouth shut or I will find a way to make things even worse for you."

I guess it's lucky the resident didn't bother to read that book.

As the windows were broken, the heater leaked gas and mice overran her small apartment, the resident decided something had better be done about it.  If Angela Silva was notified, there certainly wasn't enough done to correct anything.  More likely, there wasn't a thing done.  Eventually, the appropriate inspectors of the local housing authority were contacted and the decrepit apartment scheduled for inspection.

As nothing gets Angela's attention than the thought of men in black suits and dark glasses emerging from their black helicopters carrying attache cases containing secret government documents, the troops were mustered to provide a day of free labor to restore Angela's rat-hole into a living space fit for human habitation.

After a day or so, the apartment was pretty much restored to near-decency but some of the previous tenants were still lurking around the apartment - mice.

The was was completed just before the arrival of the inspector so it would look new and as good as the semi-skilled slave labor could have made it.  I guess they never thought that new construction and repair in an otherwise old apartment is a dead giveaway that something was amiss and further inspection would be warranted.  At least, that's what those who inspect buildings would think.  Actually, that what my dad thought as he conducted building inspections.  New construction in an old building screamed either there was a careful re-mod or someone was covering up a really bad problem.  In Angela's case, the word "careful" got torn out of the dictionary.

The inspector found most of the repairs to be adequate but noticed there were excessive rodent droppings throughout the apartment and ordered this deficiency be corrected.  A follow-up inspection was scheduled.

As usual, Angela and her cult-addled followers attempted the cheap "solution" that constituted nothing more than a cover-up.

The day before the follow-up inspection, culties invaded the apartment, sweeping up mouse droppings, cleaning up drawers and lining them with paper towels, having the certainty their efforts to deceive the housing inspector would be a success.

Of course in the cult world, any event you imagine is one you can see happen in real life.  The culties went to their homes conducting the psychotic work necessary to visualize the housing inspector being absolutely tricked and that no mice would appear in the 24 hours before the inspection.

Nice thought.

After the culties finished their evil work, the resident brought out her secret weapon: a bag of mouse droppings saved from weeks before.

The resident proceeded to place her saved mouse droppings back in exactly the places the culties cleaned them from.

The next day, the inspector arrived.  While the cult's "property manager" and disciplinary goon looked on with an evil grin and far-too-confident attitude, the inspector proceed to take a peek at the areas that were noted as rodent-infested.

The goon's grin faded faster than Robin Dumolin's memories of human decency.  Mouse droppings were again noted by the inspector and once again, corrections were ordered.

The cult goon, now dejected, trudged back to SRF headquarters to report to Angela and Robin, for a session of bending over and asking for more.

You'd think Angela would have just given up her web of deception and resolved to do the right thing - like address the rodent problem (which was being experienced by many of the residents).  Angela's solution was to withdraw from the SSA Section 8 housing program and begin eviction proceedings on the tenant who only wanted a living space without mice.

It seems habit for Angela Silva to use a complex and expensive solution like legal action to resolve a problem ten bucks worth of mouse traps could have solved  - like her losing the lawsuit she filed against me instead of spending money on an effective PR campaign.  

I'd tell her to use the mouse traps to clamp her damn mouth shut.

==========================================

It seems the Spiritual Rights Foundation's toilet flush just keeps going and going and going.

I have heard through channels (which is how we all hear things from this spiritual cesspool) six people have left the confines of this demented, dysfunctional and otherwise ineffective den of spiritual iniquity since the bishop became the ex-bishop.

I can guess who may have hit the road.  Perhaps you might take a guess at who is left?  I would imagine they would be some of the older members.  It looks like there are only three unfortunate souls left there.

So, is that all who's left?  THREE GODDAMN PEOPLE?

How in the hell did this organization go from a robust and energetic congregation of committed ministers and students to a pathetic, motley crew of three - one of whom has become too bedraggled by health concerns and age to snap to attention when whipped, another who has been beaten so long, he doesn't care anymore and one more who complains about his lazy and apathetic colleagues to his imaginary friend - in the course of a fairly short time?

Oh right, it's a cult.  My bad...

  

For the love of God - 

Bring Back Buffy!

Steve Sanchez has generously contributed the following article.


It's Steve's observation on the effects the daily degradation and relentless, intense pressure to give more, work more and worship the leaders more had on the followers who were just trying to find meaning in their lives.


The Spiritual Rights Foundation is notorious for their demands on the followers to comply with arbitrary rules that were constantly changed and standards that no one could possibly meet.  The daily uncertainty of your own status and the possibility that the leaders could separate you from your family and all the things that are important to you weighed heavily on your spirit.


That weight was so great, the longing for an end of the pain and mental torture was constant and was personalized for each individual from anything from a wish for the end of the world or thoughts (or attempts) or suicide.


==================================

It was a warm day, kind of dry and windy;

it felt like there was a lot of static in the air. I was getting tired of the repetitious pattern of my life, the constant work, and the lack of any personal reward. I was in a Berkeley cult called the Spiritual Rights Foundation, and the pressure of it all was like a slow grind of metal on metal in my head.

Today I was attending the Spiritual Rights Foundation’s monthly services at the Berkeley City Club. These service days were a relief because there wasn’t any immediate pressure on us, but as always, we knew the nightmare lay just around the corner. The main challenge today was to look and feel like we were in a holy mood. The message in the service was the same as usual—we were all failures as disciples, and had to work harder.

I left the service early to begin breaking down equipment. Outside, the sky was astonishingly dark and gray, like night was coming. In the middle of the sky was a blood red sun. I thought, how utterly strange; it must be a sign; maybe this is the Apocalypse! Oh! How I yearned for it to be the Apocalypse! I was astonished at the rush of desire I had for it to be the Apocalypse. That would be a righteous reason, outside myself, for my whole life to change. I wished for a big explosion where the Spiritual Rights Foundation and the whole city would be blown into dire change, and my life would be an unnoticed part of it.

But as I looked around, noticing the white-gray mist in the air and similar tint over the bushes and trees, and the strangely enhanced coloring and darkened hue covering the landscape, I slowly realized there must be a fire. I was immensely disappointed.

—Steve Sanchez